anastassjatania

Skinny Love

2011-10-21T09:05:00.000+07:00

why o why

2011-09-11T00:42:00.005+07:00

feelings are hard to grasp

because they are sand

running through your hand

they are more like poetry

or like a dream.

imaginary.

you put your hands on my heart

and squeezed it to see it bleed

i said, "enough is enough"

and pretended to stop hurting,

i pretended to laugh,

a protective lie,

like laughter comes lightly

for someone like me

you did let go

and think i cried

with words still screaming

internally bleeding in my mind

..and,
you were just watching?

BOW after the RAIN

2011-08-30T00:26:00.001+07:00

that day, the wind has blown everything away. a million worlds collapsed, with their tall buildings burying pieces of my soul beneath them. It's like your leg's broken and you can't stand it anymore. it's true. but here i go, try to get up by myself and move on with my life like nothing has happened. ya i know it's not an easy thing but what can i say i have to work it out. day by day i realized something, i read a message behind it (okay it's not 'a', of course many of it) that in this life, no matter how hard you get, there's the top of the pyramid, the highest level of happiness. it is.. suprasituational happiness. that is the ability to be okay, even when everything works against your plans. but it depends on how you react. it's a gift.

true happiness is to survive with dignity and

grace the worst times of your life

thankyou, Father Jesus

But Clock Is Ticking, Then Make It Quick

2011-08-26T23:14:00.002+07:00

Jadi ceritanya 20 juli 2011 yang lalu gue menembus umur yang ke 21. Di umur berapapun itu, pasti setiap orang punya angan-angan for the coming years yang berharapnya tak dihempas angin dan hilang sekejap mata. gue juga punya beberapa harapan. tapi ternyata kecemasan-kecemasan gue lebih besar dari harapan-harapan tersebut. hahahaha. antiklimakss

sekarang serius.

di awal umur yang berkepala dua ini, gue ibarat lagi belajar merangkak untuk kedua kalinya. merangkak untuk jadi orang yang bener-bener dewasa. ya semacam aktualisasi diri gitu deh ga tau juga. mungkin masing-masing orang punya argumen tersendiri, di umur berapa mereka harus belajar merangkak untuk jadi orang yang bener-bener matang dalam segala aspek

jadi ceritanya pas hari ulangtahun, gue masih cengar-cengir aja tuh blm dibebani pikiran. tapi dihari-hari berikut gue jadi yang sempet galau 3 hari 3 malem. kenapa? karena diumur 21 ini gue seperti ditampar bolak balik sama beberapa kenyataan. kenyataan pertama, sense of crisis gue ga ada. sama sekali ga ada dan ini bahaya. contohnya, gue sering mengabaikan hal-hal yang sebetulnya penting. gue suka bersikap cuek sama semua hal yang ada disekeliling gue. bahkan untuk kepentingan gue sendiri, tanggung jawab gue kadang ze-ro. kenyataan kedua, diumur yang produktif kayak gini gue ngerasa masih aja BELUM BISA APA-APA dan BELUM ADA MENGHASILKAN APA-APA. kenyataan ketiga, gue harusnya udah bisa mengambil keputusan dalam hal apapun, terutama untuk perkara-perkara besar yang bakal berefek ke masa depan. i've to make my own decision. tapi kenyataannya gue hanya membiarkan hal-hal terjadi begitu saja, ngalir kayak air, ga jelas arahnya mau kemana, dan ini bakal berakhir fatal

singkat aja. sampe detik ini, gue masih belum bisa nge-blend sama jurusan di perkuliahan gue sekarang. sama sekali ga ada passion. jadi gue ngambil teknik telekomunikasi gitu deh, ini semacam 'anaknya' teknik elektro. Pas temen-temen lo mungkin lagi asik clubbing, nongkrong, ato ngorbit di tempat-tempat gemerlap nan asik, dimalam yang sama lo malah sacrificing masa muda lo dengan belajar fisika, mat, elektrik, logika, dll di kosan

based on my hompimpa opinion, dulu gue pikir cewek yang jurusannya elektro gitu sexy abis. asik kan, liat cewek lagi ngotak-ngatik circuit di lab, dengan rambut kriwel-kriwel berantakan dan muka serius, plus kacamata geek yang bertengger dihidung, terus dikelilingin cowok-cowok elektro yang tegap-tegap kayak Channing Tatum atau Wentworth Miller. pokoknya bayangan gue tuh engineer abis deh. tapi gitu makan asam garam di kampus, gubrak. ternyata itu adalah ilusi visualisasi semata. bukannya dikampus gue ga ada lab, justru lab-lab pada bertebaran disegala penjuru. ternyata guenya aja yang anti. berada didalam lab dengan sekumpulan orang obsesif yang daya solving nya yang tinggi, it scares me. apalagi individualisnya ga nahan. kadang sotoy nya juga ga bisa ditolerir. i can't be in a circumstance like that, really.

nyokap sangat mendukung gue ambil jurusan ini berhubung dulu dia pernah beberapa tahun di beberapa perusahaan telekomunikasi endonesa. partner kerja dan termasuk beliau, sukses-sukses semua disana (nyokap gue itu luarnya aja cewek tapi mesinnya laki). Terus lagi setelah berkonsultasi dengan kerabat kerjanya nyokap, denger gimana opini-opini mereka kerja disana, serta diiming-imingi masa depan yang cerah, akhirnya gue pun luluh dan mau. itu 3 tahun yang lalu. tapi hingga detik ini gue belum juga jatuh cinta sama apapun yang gue geluti sekarang. dan hal ini sangat ngebebanin pikiran gue akhir-akhir ini. mau dibawa kemana hubungan ini kalo gue masih belum bisa yakin sama calon suami gue? oke stop ini banyakan keracunan lagu, tskk

ada ga sih orang yang senasib sama gue? pasti banyak sihh.. cuman temen-temen terdekat gue dikampus bilang, "jalanin aja tas, lo ditempatkan disini bukannya karena kebetulan." terus dapet penguatan juga dari temen yang beda jurusan, "jurusan lo itu udah enak, akreditasinya A dan ga terlalu banyak bergelut di codingan kayak anak-anak informatika." yayaya, selalu ada hal untuk kita mengucap syukur kan? but i have to find my real passion. i really have to.

yang bikin gue terkesima adalah temen gue yg bilang, "tas, lo ga bisa nanem jagung di ladang padi. lo ga bisa nanem padi diladang jagung. pasti entar numbuhnya ga bagus. ga sempurna. kalo ga layu, ya mati." betul. kalo passion gue sama sekali ga di situ, gue ga akan pernah bisa mencapai top of the edge.

Di umur yang ke 21 ini, gue bener-bener memasang mata, telinga dan hati, untuk lebih peka lagi sama.. apa sih sebetulnya panggilan hidup gue? kalopun sekarang gue harus terdampar di lingkungan kampus gue yang sekarang, apalagi dengan berbagai macam struggle didalamnya. setidaknya gue harus tahu juga.. apa sih yang mau Tuhan coba bilang?

pernah waktu dimobil, im having this conversation with my mom dan dia bilang kurang lebihnya kayak gini,

"tentukan dulu tujuan. setelah kita tahu apa tujuan kita, baru kita pakai segala macam cara dan strategi untuk mencapai tujuan itu dengan cara yang benar. dalam hidup itu, keputusan apapun yang kamu ambil punya resikonya masing-masing. kalau suatu saat kamu ga bisa gapai tujuan yang sudah kamu rencanakan, mau bilang apa? carilah tujuan lain yang sesuai dengan kapasitas kamu."

GODSPEED.

IYA KAN?

2011-08-26T00:54:00.000+07:00

it's already 00:15. sudah memasuki jam galau nampaknya. saat ini saya persis sedang berada didepan laptop, tidur tengkurap di ruang tv. iya, sendirian. orang rumah sudah tergeletak diatas tempat tidur masing-masing, sedangkan saya masih segar seperti ikan yang ada di pasar. diiringi alunan the weepies yang fenomenal, dimana akhir-akhir ini meracuni playlist saya, saya sibuk mengklik-klik link-link ga penting di hadapan saya. like anything. tumblr, blog orang, twitter, facebook, apapun. yang bisa membawa saya ke titik mengantuk dan jenuh.

kalau lagi sendiri seperti ini, kadang saya suka bertengkar dengan suara-suara yang ada dipikiran saya. mereka selalu meneror saya secara bertubi-tubi tanpa mengenal lelah. mereka bilang, "eh, hidup lo mau dibawa kemana?" dan saya yang, "udah, diem lo. liat aja nanti." terus mereka bilang, "sampai kapan lo pengen nanti-nanti? sampe mati? decide dong." saya bales, "lebih baik gini dulu, mau dinikmatin." dan saya pun pada akhirnya hanya jalan di tempat. setiap harinya. mereka ketawa.

saya gak tahu kapan harus jalan lagi, tapi buat saya ini belum waktu yang tepat buat saya. saya hanya akan berhenti, diam, dan melihat kebelakang. melihat kebelakang ga selamanya salah. melihat kebelakang bukan berarti lemah. melihat kebelakang itu, mengumpulkan setiap ingatan yang hampir terhilang. yang mungkin besok atau besoknya lagi, ga akan bisa di ulang. mungkin aja besok kita gak akan mendapatkan kebahagiaan yang sama seperti kemarin?

is this our SOMEDAY?

2011-08-08T17:17:00.001+07:00

"..and then I felt sad because I realized that once people are broken in certain ways, they can’t ever be fixed, and this is something nobody ever tells you when you are young and it never fails to surprise you as you grow older as you see the people in your life break one by one." my old friend wrote this on her tumblr and i second that. because i've been there like.. twice? i heard voices laughed in my head, "Let that be a lesson for you sweetie. Never love anything." this is crazy. i think i need to call psychiatric.

i fought my battles everyday since we both deal with this odd agreements. undefinedly breathless. it's really sad. i pushed myself really hard to let things go, but my heart won't synchronize with mind. whenever you read this Y, trust me i don't want to make this even harder. i wrote this not for intruding you with countless what ifs or shake your firmness. i counsciously realized that "forever and ever" never jump to us. there's a big wall that we can't climb. that's okay, i'll learn to accept, in all my unableness. Goodluck for us.. i heavenly miss you :')

you're shining like a gold :)

2011-08-02T00:18:00.006+07:00

jadi ceritanya makhluk berbulu ini adalah anjing peliharaan gue. namanya chicco. lucu ya, pasaran. hehe. itu gue yg kasih nama lho.. dia lahir tanggal 2 februari, waktu itu belinya pas gue masih smp kelas 2 kalo ga salah. terus belinya pas dia masih berumur sekian bulan, di mall gadjah mada, jakarta. pas kita dateng kesana waktu itu ada 3 ekor baby golden, 2 cewek dan 1 cowok. nah cowok mungil yang ganteng ini agresif skali, pas di unleashed dia langsung berlarian kesana kemari. terus kata mami, kalo pick anjing itu harus yang badannya gagah, ga loyo, dan periang. terus diliat gimana interaksinya sama orang. akhirnya jatuhlah hati kami, kepada makhluk yg lutcuk ini.

ini bukan kali pertamanya gue pelihara doggy, sebelumnya waktu gue masih SD kelas sekian, kelas 3 kalo ga salah, mami beliin kita-kita anjing chow-chow betina, kita kasih nama Vanda. chow-chow itu ras dari Cina, katanya sih termasuk ras anjing tertua di dunia. bulunya tebel, lidah nya warna hitam/kebiruan, terus telinganya kayak singa/beruang. karena dia cewek, jadi kadang suka sensitiff.. dan suka gigit. embak gue pernah digigit sama dia/dicakar gitu deh sampe bernanah. iew. dia kalo lagi mens, garasi udah kayak bandung lautan darah. blood is everyweh. yuck. tapi kita sayang sama dia, dia mati pas umur 10, sedih banget, dia muntah2 terus lemes, terus suka kejang2.. dia ga bisa bangun, dan akhirnya papi bawain dia ke rumah sakit hewan. tapi yah pada dasarnya rumah sakit hewan di jakarta ini bener2 jelek kualitasnya (gue gatau ya kalo skarang apa udah nongol yang agak the best), jadi ternyata anjing2 sakit yg dimasukin kesana, ga terlalu diperhatiin. cuman dikandangin dan di cek sekali-sekali, tapi ga ada pengawasan rutin/khusus. sampe satu pagi, pas mau skolah, bokap terima telvon kalo Vanda udah pergi selamanya. dan akhirnya besoknya mami beliin kita makhluk berbulu emas yg ada di atas, katanya sih biar kita ga sedih2 terus. (tapi masih ngebekas juga smpe skarang)

sekarang chicco umurnya udah 9 tahunan. iya, gue juga kaget. trakhir yg gue inget dia masih 4 tahun, trus kata kezia, "ngaco lu kak, umurnya udah 9 kali." time flies? nope, time is running. akhir-akhir ini gue liat stamina chicco menurun, dan sekarang kakinya udah pincang. i dont know. terakhir gue nonton Marley & Me (yes i read the book, too), goldennya juga pada akhirnya kalo jalan pincang, terus tuli, terus there's something wrong with his stomach, terus lemah, terus mati. gara-gara sugesti begituan, ketakutan yg pernah muncul 9 tahun lalu, tiba-tiba muncul dan menghantui gue belakangan ini.. ga siap untuk suatu saat kehilangan lagi.. yg apalagi skarang udah ada anjing maltese baru dirumah, otomatis perhatian kita udah ga terlalu ke dia lagi *im so sorry chicco :(

katanya, anjing itu cuman punya 1 master. dia cuman dengerin perintah 1 orang aja selama hidupnya, dan apapun yang terjadi sama orang itu, dia tau. they've got like magic feelings. anjing bener2 binatang peliharaan yang paling loyal yang pernah ada di alam semesta ini, sejauh penglihatan gue. they're like men's bestfriend. Their melting, droopy eyes can melt your heart like in one second! i cant help their begging eyes too, oooooo my.

stay healthy chicco, stay cheerios and grow well. i know your feeling, yes you lost your master, so do i. i missed him too. just be good ok? you're like God's gift and we'll always take care of you, sampai ketakutan itu bener-bener terjadi. but i know you'll be okay. i love u ♥ :)

sugesti

2011-08-01T22:53:00.000+07:00

"Don’t be bothered with the next moment, or the next life, or the next world. Make this moment rejoicing, make this moment a moment of bliss, and the next will follow it, and the next life, and the next world. And everything that you are this moment is going to become deepened more and more. And when you see that you are responsible for your bliss, your bliss will be far more. When you see that nobody has given it to you, that you have not been a beggar, that it is not a gift from somebody else — because nobody has given it to you, nobody can take it away — when you see this you will be far happier." — Osho

gray

2011-08-01T10:09:00.001+07:00

there are some feelings that fill you up

that dig their roots into your skin

and never let go

they swell

and blow you over

like wind and waves

please, spit out some truths. am i too excessive? this whole thing drive me nuts. couldn't you hear the sound of my heartbeat? the coming weeks suddenly become so blur, this holiday suppose to be fun, but how you react, those completely distracted me. i remember the time when we giggling in your room, tickling each other, sharing a box of laughs together, and i even can still feel your lips. that was too sweet, but really keeping me down. now everything turn to be colder than a winter morning. you sucha great thief. you steal all my bliss. i cried myself to sleep, and even this morning i woke up, my tears fell fast. i know these sound weak for you but hell it, who cares. i miss you. lots. i want to reach you but you seem dont want to reach me. so.. i think keep being silent is the best decision i would do.

good clothes, open all doors

2011-07-30T13:52:00.000+07:00

hal yang (seharusnya) tidak perlu dilakukan kepada pasanganmu di pagi hari

2011-06-25T09:10:00.000+07:00

bold what applies to you

2011-06-13T21:34:00.004+07:00

1. I woke up in the afternoon today.

2. I have at least three picture frames in my room.

3. My trash can is full.

4. I love snow globes, but I’d never buy one.

5. I use my regular phone more than my cell phone.

6. I’m single, but I don’t want to be.7. My hair is not layered.

8. I hate the term “best friend,” but I use it anyway.

9. I get along with my mum more than my dad.

10. I like making beaded bracelets.

11. I’ve never run for class president/treasurer, etc.

12. Most of my friends are white.

13. I have over 150 CDs in my collection.

14. I would rather listen to the radio than CDs.

15. I own whiteout, but I barely ever use it.

16. I’m very shy until you get to know me.

17. Some take my shyness as being mean/rude.

18. Most people probably don’t understand me.

19. I have a very random sense of humor.

20. I do not consider myself attractive.

21. I feel that I’m more mature than most people my age.

22. But not all the time.

23. I used to pick my nose and wipe it on the wall.

24. I’d rather be cold than hot.

25. I always wait for that one person to sign on.

26. I’m probably online too much for my own good.

27. I am trying to lose weight and it’s not working out very well.

28. I own a LOT of chapstick. A LOT.

29. I love to buy paper… but I barely use it.

30. I write in my paper journal once a day or more.

31. I am an American, yet I find them annoying.

32. I’ve used binoculars the wrong way before.

33. I’m thirsty, but I can’t be bothered to go get something.

34. One of my best friends is that of the opposite sex

35. Sometimes I feel really, really sorry for myself.

36. My stomach hurts a little bit right now

37. Other times I feel really, really lucky.

38. I have a friend (or more) who creeps me out. 39. I have more than one shelf up in my room.

39. I have more than one shelf up in my room.

40. It’s sunny out today.

41. I don’t have a car.

42. I’m very picky with food.

43. I have a hard time with directions.

44. I am a little bit obsessive compulsive.

45. I talk to myself in the mirror sometimes.

46. I don’t have that many DVDs yet.

48. I feel very sick if a movie is gory.

49. I have a lot in common with my best friend.

50. I believe in the theory that opposites attract.

51. I’ve liked someone who is at least four years older than me.

52. I’ve started a fire/explosion in the microwave oven before.

53. I’m worried that one of my pets will die soon.

55. Never been THAT drunk, but it might be kinda fun.

56. Sometimes I act drunk even when I’m not.

57. It annoys me when people chew loudly.

58. And breathe loudly.

59. And click their pens like crazy.

60. I enjoy bold surveys, mostly ‘cause I have no life.

61. I’d rather have a popsicle than popcorn.

62. I’d rather do laundry than the dishes.

63. Someday, I will go to England.

64. I’d rather be in a dark room than a bright one.

65. My alarm clock annoys me very, very much.

66. When I was younger, I went to summer school for fun.

67. I was made fun of in middle school.

68. I’ve never eaten sushi and never will.

69. I remember where I was when I first learned to whistle.

70. If Barney is on TV, I will still sit there and watch.

71. MySpace is annoying, but I’m pretty much addicted to it.

72. I hAtE iT wHeN pPl TyPe LyK dIs!!!

73. When I talk to my crush, I get too excited.

74. People have told me that I’m sexy before.

75. I never believe it when they do.

76. I love to write, but whenever I start something new I can’t finish it.

77. I love to read.

78. If I lay down and watch TV, I end up falling asleep.

79. I absolutely LOVE riding my bike.

80. I love to play badminton, but I don’t play often.

81. I have never been on a sports team before.

82. I’m in at least one advanced placement class.

83. I’m in the class of 2013.

84. Jacuzzis and hot tubs are very relaxing.

85. I have stood up and done something else during this survey.

86. I space out a lot.

87. I’ve made a shelf in a store collapse before.

88. I’m a big crybaby, and I know it.

89. I wouldn’t mind having a ferret for a pet.

90. I love to watch home videos.

91. I miss my childhood and wish I could go back.

92. I’d rather brush my teeth normally than use an electric toothbrush.

93. Dippin’ Dots are good.

94. I feel like I’m more confident than I used to be.

95. My friends come to me for advice often.

96. I’ve had over five significant others in my lifetime.

97. I have cheated on one or more of them before.

98. Last year’s math class was completely useless.

99. I hate the fact that I’m growing up. I don’t want to.

100. I miss a lot of my old friends, but not all of them.

ripped from todayifeellikethis

hm hm ;p

2011-06-03T09:22:00.000+07:00

missing me? :p

2011-05-14T10:58:00.001+07:00

when i woke up this morning, on my own bedroom, you know what it's like? i feel complete. yes, i'm in town now woo-hooooow. gotta take short weekend here, drag away from college madness, gee-o!

my life was so perfect this lately, it was just awesome. really. watching a guy who ever been involved in yer life for almost years had just walkaway, is really really a hard time. but welcoming one another guy who turns out your gloomy day to be a sparkle one? it sucha m-ai-ar-ei-si-el-le. MIRACLE :) no im not lebay or something, it really does. :)))

every single thing that happened recently was lighter than air. nothing to worry about, your thought finally clear from bad prejudice, i even forgot when is the last time i cried. i mean, positive atmosphere's like every fuqin where! but i'll give the detail (wait, not the detail indeed haha) on next i-dont-know-which-post later, i'll pour my heart on it so just wait ;)

and what makes my life more glowing is.. this morning i was awakened by white furry little creature who licked my face vigorously. when i opened my eyes, this little buddy smirked at me and his eyes rephrasing itself. like, "hey new buddy, please give me morning cuddle.. because i deserve that as a new comer!"

i continued my beauty sleep. and he didn't stop trying and made sucha cute pose and wagged his tail, "come on.. you're not come here all the way from Bandung just to ignore me like that, right you pretty eshol?"

ok, i was failed on ignore him. lol. then i got up and gave him my bessssszzzt cuddle!

my new sweetheart, Casper, is sucha cute-cotton candy. I give him that name because it really fits to his fur, hehe.. on our first meet last night, he acted so warm.. he licked my face affectionately and suddenly i fell in love with him. he's so adoooooorrrrable o my god ;*) here im saving few pics for u this morning :D

and lately i knew, he's really good, even way too GOOD on chewing. he chews everything. like you know, E-VE-RY-THING. his teeth more wicked than a shark i guess haha.. he chewed my fingers, then my shirt, then he licked my nose decent to lips, oh god really he's really sweet and annoying at the same time. his main job is, slipper-chaser. so you have to decide a perfect area to keep those slipper away from his nose. and i got one name for him. poker face. i think his master is my mom. you know that dogs just has one master, only one, in their life. he's sucha good boy in front of mom and sucha bad-ass while playing with us (me, kezia, and dad)

and yes i come all the way from bandung just because of him.
kidding, of course i miss my hommies hereeee.. so yes, they're the reason too why im here. i think im just gonna give my middle finger to college-stuff for a while and enjoy my time here. lol.
but.
i do miss you, werewolf.
still,
you're the best shadow when i woke up this morning. i'll hug you soon!! :)
so i think that's all, gonna catch up wit ya later!

GROW UP WELL, CASPER :)

my condolence for my cupu-grammar, still digging! :)

good day stalker, ciao

short hello

2011-05-06T20:03:00.001+07:00

these lame people teased behind my back. behave like they're my mom. hahaha. so funny i cant even breathe. oh sweethearts, I bet you wouldn't ever, never, want to be there. you've no idea how hard my position was. here's the deal, why not make your life easier by not spreading shits? :)

redirecting to another cosmos

2011-04-13T17:29:00.001+07:00

let me flick the lighter, and burn it all. no more dramas. no more torture. no more emotionalcrap-tweet (oh i knew i did so many rush on timeline and i promise it never happen again). you slipped of my mind. vanished. erased. and yes, i wont talk about you, not anymore.

Ping!

2011-01-23T12:37:00.024+07:00

it's not working out.
the way we live this relationship it's being magically up and down. We used to launch a pointless arguments with a bad behaviour like a human firearm and then shake our heart off. it's so hard to bring up problems gently and without blame. correct, it happens everytime. i know baby you hold on to these words, “It was a difficult time, but we just have to be patient. In the end, it’ll make our relationship stronger.” but this? is different case. there's something wrong in it, i still dont see its magic on us.

baby, accept it. it's not working out. and do you know what its mean? do you? you see the title? dont you realise that God tries to PING! us?

sexy prototypes

2010-09-11T17:35:00.001+07:00

they're terribly kyutt :*

2010-09-11T16:59:00.000+07:00

ketika ragu berdiri di atas akal, selalu ada cahaya disana.

2010-09-10T15:12:00.019+07:00

how gracious You are
when I turned to my old sins and keep it in my day
You're always standing there to offer forgiveness

how fair You are
when i dont walk in Your line and keep violating Your orders
You allow something bad happened
not intend to punish, but to cultivate me to be a qualified person
make me stronger than before

I ran away and it happens all the time.
what I found?
You always there, try to catch me.

when my spiritual life becomes weaker,
when I i lived my life so dirty,
suddenly, you gave me another responsibility to take part in this

why?
You should understand that I'm just a sinner, I don't deserve it. i'd be like a joke!
with my narrow minds, i almost throw this chance away.

honestly, my conscience shouts, "what are you afraid of?"
slowly this heart becomes thirsty to try, but my mind keep blocking.
without despairing, You use those around me to open my eyes wider

days passed. no joke, i take it
lately i realized, in my terrible life-pattern,
frankly you want me to be a better person, therefore You're giving this charge.
yet, not only to make me better. but how You really miss me to bear my own fruits and can be a light amid the darkness
once again Lord,
it is proven that Your plan can not be dived, your kindness can not be measured with any
yes, You are too good to be unkind.

I will live it wisely.
im so grateful with my new family :)
Jehovah Jireh, i ♥ You

2010-09-03T00:22:00.002+07:00

sekarang udah jam 00:something o'clock dan aku bermain sendiri dengan pikiranku sendiri.

9 deadly phrases used by a woman

2010-08-21T23:19:00.003+07:00

Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

Loud Sigh
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing.
(Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

That’s Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome.
(I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’. that will bring on a ‘whatever’).

Whatever
Is a woman’s way of saying F– YOU!

Don’t worry about it, I got it
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself.

grab this from lovemetoinfinity on tumblr

dont worry i'm fine

2010-08-21T22:00:00.007+07:00

maybe you can not see
or try to be deaf
or pretend to be blind

just go on.

leave me with my feelings.
let me enjoy my own constriction, alone.

because angels can see other angels

2010-08-17T19:50:00.005+07:00

Boy: I thought angels were invisible. How come I can see you ?

Auburn - Perfect two

2010-08-17T19:37:00.001+07:00

sephia thoughts

2010-08-16T19:09:00.018+07:00

On a gray cold day, nothing but silence. When suddenly, up in the sky firebirds fly with their amber breath and they're vanished. She sits alone with bitting cold air.
So she sits and thinks, with heavy heart. she says no words with lasting powers. She asks herself fatefully,
"Now i am a shell. Shells without a soul. They left the deeper things that which i called pressure.
As i run through life with much strain, Is it really worth it?"
but her mind talks, "surely it’s not in vain."

she doesn't want to believe.

"why should i stay?
Can i really clearly see where to go?
Is there something i have lost, something that needs to be found?"

Still at a distance, over there, close to age old oak trees thick and tall, watching, observing her every move.
Her presence is noted. she feels it, but she keeps this in mind.

Nearby, shadows fly, ravens cry, their calls echoing through the mist at dusk. On the other side there is a light. something bright.
she can smell Him.
Coming through with such ease.
The heart blossoms joyfully, like flowers in spring.

And so she stands and wonders, watch and linger,
should she carefully touch His presecence with just one finger?

And therefore guidance she shall seek, before she grows weary and weak, and He says,
"Follow my footsteps. you'll be alright. your heart will be safe."

hallo saya kembali! tapi maaf, inspirasi tetap jongkok

2010-08-15T21:12:00.008+07:00

kenapa sih gue slalu kehilangan ide? stiap buka blog ini nge blank banget mau diisi tentang apa.
tentang siapa. mengenai moment apa.
ada yang mengalami hal yang sama seperti gue?

apa karena skarang tumblr lebih eksis?
atau karena twitter lebih spreading?
ada yg tahu kenapa?

but i missed you, my blog. wantto scratch something on you. really.

2010-08-15T12:34:00.004+07:00

Being with you,

2010-04-15T19:15:00.002+07:00

like doodling my dailies with magenta, yellow, purple and cyan.
taste like ice cream with bubble gum flavor with raisins on top.
like when I boarded the roller coaster that can make me scream.
you’re technically like an opium.
being with you,
sometimes have so many tears and reflections
or not.
teach me not to be selfish where It’s very hard thing to do.

An Arab was interviewed at the US Embassy for a U.S.A. Visa.

2010-03-24T18:59:00.002+07:00

Consul : What is your name?
Arab : Abdul Aziz

Consul : Sex?
Arab : Six to ten times a week

Consul : I mean, male or female?
Arab : both male and female and sometimes even camels

Consul : Holy cow!
Arab : Yes, cows and dogs too!

Consul : Man.. isn't it hostile?
Arab : Horse style, dog style, any style

Consul : Oh...dear!
Arab : Deer? No deer, they run too fast!

amusing typhography

2010-02-18T11:12:00.008+07:00

i've been recently obsessed with this graphic designer, Matt Lyon. His inspirations are varied, ranging from folk art, fine art and illustration. his artwork's definitely genius and unique. i curious w his typhography, then grabbed them frm flickr.. see wht i've got:

they're all just beautiful and i quite interest wit those words above, fairly strong

XOXO

low shoulder - through the trees

2010-02-06T17:54:00.009+07:00

All alone in an empty room
nothing left but the memories of when I had my best friend
I don't know how we ended up here
I don't know but it's never been so clear
We made a mistake, dear.
And I see the broken glass in front of me
I see your shadow hanging over me
and your face, I can see..

Through the trees
I wIll find you;
I wIll heal the ruins left inside you
cuz I'm still here breathing now..
I'm still here breathing now..
I'm still here breathing now..
until I'm set free.
Go quiet through the trees

I remember how we used to talk
about the places we would go when we were off
and all that we were gonna find.
And I remember our seeds grow
and how you cried when you saw
the first leaves show.
The love was pouring from your eyes.

So can you see
the branches hanging over me?
Can you see
the love you left inside of me?
in my face
can you see?

Through the trees
I will find you;
I will heal the ruins left inside you.
Cuz I'm still here breathing now
I'm still here breathing now..
I'm still here breathing now..
until I'm set free.
Go quiet through the trees.

Cuz you're not coming back
And you're not coming back
No-oo.. No-oo.. No
You're not coming back..
You're not coming back..

Take my breath as your own
Take my eyes to guide you home

Cuz I'm still here breathing now..
I'ms till here breathing now..
I'm still here breathing now..
And I'm still here..

Cuz I'm still here breathing now..
I'm still here breathing now..
I'm still here breathing now..
And I'm still here..

Cuz I'm still here breathing now..
I'm still here breathing now..
I'm still here breathing now..
And I'm still here.

But you're not coming back.
And you're not coming back.
Cuz you're not coming back
until I'm set free
Go quiet through the trees.

download "low shoulder - through the trees" here

overdue xmas post

2010-02-06T12:53:00.006+07:00

me with few funny rats

i found those in my HD, those were taken 1month ago on Christmas Celebration in my campus.
but where are the xmas tree and santa claus thingy?
they escaped to night club before the celebration started i guess.. because they aren't there and never ever there

short greeting for her

2010-02-05T10:13:00.007+07:00

it's 5th on february.. then happy cakeday for you, mom. keep beauty and healthy. how i envy you tht you alwys can handle many things.. even for the difficult one. im impressed. all the best, for my best mom in the world. my prayer for you will always fill my night bfor i sleep. happy 46 years old, mom. i adore you♥

how do you spell love?

2010-02-04T23:56:00.007+07:00

super mother's day

2009-12-24T14:26:00.002+07:00

she just cannot be defined in 10-30 lines. she's just way too complex to be defined by only a few words.
when i say she's a superb one, it means i've to pop million impression words out from my mouth.
im sitting back and reminiscing my whole memories with her, well maybe some little thing maybe had vanished. it would be so great if my head has a recovery-application or restore button :p well then, all of those memories just taste like fro-yo ;) sour, sweet, and cold in one BIG cup!
i wont threw off the mask of her, no. i wont tell you what's been up with me and her in sufficient detail, what we usually do when we get along,
because my experiences with her are too expensive to be told ;)

ok, but i will share sort things about her.

she's best at everything. she's very very very good at cooking. babi kecap, ayam woku, rendang, macarroni schoutel, ikan arsik, woaw, those are my favorite home cooking, yummmm!
she has a good taste at everything either. i love her decorating, very classy.. she's a terrific adapter for sure. she could make a comfort condition with others by her own.
and she loved to amuse people wif her jokes.. and she's beautiful when laughing :)
she will easily upset when things dont suitable like she ever expect. she's a beautiful lion :) (peace mom, hehehe)

i would love to say that, she does teach me everything.
she teaches me how to walk, she teaches three R"s (membaca menulis dan berhitung), she teaches me how to change my clothes,
she always get mad when im not eat up my food, or when i pipis dicelana (gatau bahasa inggrisnya apaan) when i was a toddler.. and.. ok stoppppp hhaha. that's not the point! :p

she teaches me how to be unique, how to be different than others. she told me that you dont have to be a follower.
when people using falsehood-outfit, excessively-expensive stuff, and glamour-lifestyle that make them 75% PLASTIC, she teach me to be unpretentious.
while every daughters in the world begging their parents for car, blackberry, iphone, and more sucha material thing, well, i dont.
oh yeah she would scold me if i dare to cry, because she doen't like it. once you cry, it shows that you are weak. especially for trivial thing.
indirectly, she told me how to be a stronger. she teaches me how to survive. and she stressed me that, although you are a woman, but you ought to having man power.
man's brain. and mommy HAS IT. once more, she teach me to how be a fighter.
she's a good teacher and i am a bad doer! so im still need time to learn. to explore myself to be a real HUMAN. and to be the real mature ;)

so, happy Mother's day, mom..
so pathetic that i haven't give you anything yet.. but i will.
thanks for the love you gave in your own way, thanks for the free precious-knowledge, you're my great mom!
you're the gorgeous mom i ever seen, even when you're in a stew :p

God always blesses you. i know you will be okay, everywhere you are, because you are His treasure, and He will always keep watching you.

hugs and kisses,mmmmmmmmmuahhhhhh
xoxoxoxo
♡♡♡♡♡
tassja

woa, hello again

2009-11-25T22:02:00.006+07:00

woah. hello. gue mencium bau basi di page ini and er correct me if im wrong. yah, im so not into it for couple months with no reason.. kehidupan kampus, percintaan, keluarga, circle, well so far just fine. the latest news from me are, semakin disibukkan dengan kegiatan baru seputar salah satu LK di kampus, dan semakin terlena dengan godaan dimana kenyataannya minggu ini sering banget dosen gue ga masuk (entah bolos ato gimana ga tau intinya ga ada kuliah pengganti) dan itu membuat duit orangtua gue makin sia-sia aja.. dan bikin gue makin males kuliah aja.. gue butuh suatu pencerahan buat bisa bangun lagi, supaya ga jalan di tempat terus. pengen nambal time-management yang rusak. pengen ketemu dia. pengen ke jakarta. pengen semua to do list gue ter- check. pengen dapet yang terbaik untuk semester ini. pengen belajar masak. just random things. any advice?

2009-08-22T13:12:00.004+07:00

bukannya maksud jahat kok, sama sekali enggak. tapi gue ngerasa berlebihan aja, seakan lo ngotot nuntut suatu keadaan yang lo pengen. gue muak, beberapa sikap lo seakan neror gue. lo pikir gue impressed? gue risih. ga salah kan gue ngomong ini? let me live mine happily with my hubby and please stop your ego. use your brain not your heart when things go wrong. this is so wrong, you know.

insom

2009-07-29T01:34:00.007+07:00

ok. gue tau ini udah pagi. tapi gue gatau harus gimana laaaaaaaaaagi. sekarang jam 1:34 subuh tapi semua kecanggihan teknologi ini membuatku tidak bisa menutup mata. udah hari-hari terakir ini insomnia selalu datang menjenguk dan selalu di waktu yang tidak tepat. oh my my my. this body wants to rest but my eyes won't close and my fingers still clicking facebook and plurk. ckckckck.

indonesiaunite

2009-07-18T14:08:00.005+07:00

it's been a very while im not updating myblog anymore. ha! well manythings happened these lately guys..
so i've been sick for these 3days. let say disfunction body. it started on thursday, 16 july 09 when i felt something wrong in mybody and the day after it became more bad bad and bad. so at night i called my mom and tell her about my condition (if i didn't she would kill me) and she said she and my dad also my sister would soon picked me up to bandung, and drove me back to jakarta at the same night. skip. skip.skip. and in the friday morning i woke up, i was in my own bedroom thankfully. my mom brought me to hospital at 8 AM for checked up thing and during in cansablanca route there was very crowdeeeeeed aka trafficlight. a minute later my mom's BB beeping then she checked and said: "ini bom dimana tas..?" she showed me a picture. familiar building but where..? she turned on the radio and there we knew, they was ritz carlton and jw marriott. how could it be? i mean, jw marriott, twice? tck tck.unbeliavable. skip. skip.skip.

for those stupid terrorist out there:
what a shame, dont you have your mind? what are you, neurotic people? phsycho from the outer space? a piggy shit? so many death body because of you and these beautiful building looked like a rubbish now, what are you, a cow!? you better fuck a cow than bombing buildings, chicken! at least it could release your lust than killing people who are not guilty!
hmm sorry im using those mean words i just way too very angry to those jerk people

you see, we are not afraid of you. WE ARE NOT AFRAID OF YOU. we-are-not-afraid-of-you. even you come outside my house and put a bomb in my garden, I WILL NOT AFRAID OF YOU. we wont say GOD, we facing a big terrorist here. but, terrorist, you facing our BIG GOD here. JUST GO TO HELL!
so guys, let's pray for this nation. for jakarta. for indonesia's future.
INDONESIAUNITE!

p.s : anyway i've got paratyphoid fever but everything's under control here. my health progress is good and im ready for my birthday, 20 july 2009 tomorrow!

Losing Grip

2009-06-25T18:12:00.006+07:00

this old song reminds me of you..

are you aware of what you make me feel, baby? right now I feel invisible to you, like I'm not real. didn't you feel me lock my arms around you? why'd you turn away? here's what I have to say.

I was left to cry there, waiting outside there. Grinnin' with a lost stare, That's when I decided.

Why should I care? Cause you weren't there when I was scared. I was so alone. You, you need to listen! I'm startin' to trip, I'm losin' my grip And I'm in this thing alone.

Am I just some chick you placed beside you, To take somebody's place? When you turn around can you recognize my face..? You used to love me, you used to hug me
But that wasn't the case, Everything wasn't okay..

I was left to cry there Waiting outside there Grinnin' with a lost stare,`thats when i decided.

Why should I care? Cause you weren't there when I was scared. I was so alone. You, you need to listen! I'm startin' to trip, I'm losin' my grip And I'm in this thing alone.

- AL. Losing Grip

tai lah cinta. ha-ha-ha

2009-06-24T15:02:00.003+07:00

when you have a chance to live your life by your own, with no intervention from the others especially from your parents, and when you thought you finally got - what people called "freedom", who is playin a good role to control your life?

is there anyone in yourlife (maybe someone in your past or in present) that makes you couldn't go anywhere and always makes you stuck in a same situation?

is there any person that always makes you couldnt make your own decision? or "immuring" you mentally?

have you ever feel like you couldn't do much for your own life, but there's an else person who dominating yours instead?

2009-05-24T13:07:00.007+07:00

last night i spent my satnite with doing something i never had before. me and 20 other friends : retha, donny, gotti, andreas, olive, bang henry, maria, richard tampubolon, junita, firman, vera, erick, rista, richard tarigan, tania, christian, rebecca, rendy, and 2 others, are being singing beggars in street of dago for 3-4 hours in order to fund raising for next Bible Camp. can't tell each detail of it but all i can say it's really a cool thing.. we stopped the car, we sung this song with some instruments all together, and did this stupid dance or stuff and laughed as loud as we could to attracted our 'target'..

all this little wildy thing got me some feel of freedom and maybe we will keep doing this every week in this 4 months, haa!

2009-05-21T18:34:00.004+07:00

tick tock tick tock tick tock. my head is full of deadline. well not much but i just can't get it off my head even just in one second. aaaaaar they haunted me, i wish those will be finished in about these 2days!
anyway congrats to UKM Bali for presenting dies natalis bali last night amazingly and really it's a wowness! too bad i couldn't enjoy it until finished because of.. yaa knowing gue astrier gitu ye so i've go back to astri earlier.
the last, happy ascension day to all christian in the whole world! J loves you guys!

2009-05-19T10:38:00.006+07:00

wait. there's something i want to tell to you. really i admitted that you're very nice to me and you're so fffffunny! i know it's silly that everytime we meet maybe somewhere in campus you always give me that face and overreacted. unlike the others, you seem don't really care that i'm taken, hello? you've tried and i appreciate it but sorry.

2009-05-19T09:33:00.003+07:00

seeing that in a few months later there will be freshman in our campus it makes me really excited to seeing them. i just can't wait too long to meet our new family here especially in PMK :)
can't wait too for Bible Camp which will be held in around September 09..
i would like to say keep working hard to committee of BC who in a preparations for the event.
God Bless!

2009-05-15T18:10:00.008+07:00

pencegahan flu babi.

2009-05-05T07:35:00.008+07:00

akhir-akhir ini di kampus gue ada tren baru. setelah gue survey dari setiap orang yang gue interview, mereka hampir 97,6% sedang mengidap influenza disease yang gejala-gejalanya seperti : kepala pusing, badan lemas, radang tenggorokan, hidung mampet, bersin yang selalu kontinue, ingus beler, batuk-batuk, badan ngilu, konstipasi dan impoten (halah).
hhmm gue pun merupakan salah satu pengidap penyakit tersebut (influenza nya bukan impoten). mengetahui kondisi ini, nyokap gue pun jadi kalang kabut ngebut. dia takut kayanya kalo gue kena flu yang lagi ngetren saat ini yang popularitasnya mengalahkan saipul jamil. yaitu flu BABI. walaupun mungkin flu ini masih transit di negara lain dan belum masuk indonesia, mami gue udah langsung mengerahkan sejumlah nasihat-nasihat sebagai senjata pengamanan (maklum anak kesayangan, tsaaaah).. supaya gue tetap menjaga kondisi kesehatan dan terus bersikap waspada.. supaya penyakit gue ini ga berpotensi menjadi penyakit flu piggy babi ato apalah itu.

berikut cara pencegahan yang akurat ala mami gue terhadap penyakit H5N1 yang berasal dari ethiopia ini (meksiko, kali!) :
1. jangan berjabat tangan atau kissing dengan babi yang sedang flu.
2. cuci tangan setelah bergulat dengan babi di kandang babi.
3. jangan suka mengucapkan kata babi kepada orang lain (babi lu..)
4. jangan tidur sebelahan sama babi.
5. jangan menerima babi sebagai teman kita di FB karena dia dapat mengharvest teman-teman kita di FB.
6. hindari berenang dikolam renang babi.
7. jangan mem forward messages ini ke babi-babi, dikhawatirkan mereka jadi tahu sehingga
mencari penularan lain.
8. hindari memakai segala assesoris babi (kaos gambar babi, anting2 babi, kalung babi, ikat
pinggang babi.

jadi teman-teman, kita harus selalu waspada dan terus menjaga kesehatan kita. karena lo lo tau kan influenza udah masuk dayeuh kolot nih, satu bulan lagi UAS woooy! maka alangkah baiknya kita menjalankan 8 pencegahan di atas karena seperti kata pepatah, pencegahan lebih baik dari pengobatan. so, wwwwaaaspadalah! WAAAASPADALAH!

tech-whatever

2009-05-02T16:23:00.010+07:00

te-heeee hari ini hari sabtu. everyone's love saturday! tapi kadang-kadang gue ga sependapat dengan mereka. gue benci hari sabtu. karena hari sabtu gue ada satu mata kuliah jam 7 pagi. gue benci, kuliah hari sabtu udah gitu jam 7 pagi. apalagi mata kuliah nya kurang menantang kayak kalkulus atau fisika. sebaliknya, mata kuliahnyaa, bikin gue makin zzzzz abis. ga lain dan ga bukan matkul tersebut adalah komtek a.k.a komunikasi dan teknik presentasi. ga suka ah. mending tidur dikamar. molor. hehe. ga deh.. gue ga mau juga ah jadi orang males.. model-model kayak gitu mah model-model rejeki seret.. kalo kata nyokap nih, rejeki keburu di patok ayam.

ga benci-benci juga sihh sm sabtu (loh gimana sih ga konsis bgt) heheheee, di hari sabtu gue bisa ol sepuaaaaas mungkin! FREE! seperti halnya yang gue lakuin hari ini, ol nonstop dari jam 9 pagi sampe skarang (16.31 PM) tanpa sekalipun beranjak dari tempat tidur. adududuh gue sama sekali ga berbangga lho dengan yg kaya gini ini, gue malah jadi kasian sama diri gue sendiri. menyedihkan banget rasa-rasanya diperbudak oleh teknologi. padahal gue udah nulis reminder di tembok kamar gue gede-gede beberapa hari yang lalu, kayak: dont facebooking too much, don't online more than 3hours a day, don't waste your time for something useless, dont lalala lalala and nanana nanana yang bullshit abis sebenernya sih.. harusnya gue sadar dari dulu dulu ga ada gunanya juga gue bikin note-note kayak begituan dikamar gue. karena toh cuma buat ngusir nyamuk doang ya gak? cuma gimana ya, gue emg bener-bener pengen ngilangin habit ini. gue ga mau lagi addict-addict banget sama yg namanya facebook lah, ato apa lah (pengennya). cuma yah namanya addict, susah juga sih.. mungkin gue harus rehab selama blablabla bulan kali ya supaya ga kecanduan. kalo lo nanya, "emang lo ngapain aja sih di facebook?" jawabannya adalah: yah ngapain kek, upload foto kek, wall-wall an kek, cek notifikasi kek, zzzz lo taulah lo kan pasti juga tiap ari ngecek fb. kadang ga facebook juga sih, entah apalah yang gue buka-buka in tuh situs kalo lagi ol. tapi dari sekian situs ga ada yang men support materi perkuliahan gue, ahahaha anjirrr sampah banget deh pokoknya gue. tampang-tampang madesu tuh kaya gue kali ya? :( makin kesini gue makin mikir (yah setidaknya gue masih bisa mikir), kalo ternyata ga selamanya kecanggihan tekno itu bersifat mengembangkan wawasan, skill, dan tetek bengeknya. ada kalanya teknologi bersifat disruptif. daan, salah satu objek dari sekian milyar orang di dunia ini yang berhasil di-disruptif sama tekno adalah GUE! oh-my-god menyedihkan. jadi misi dan visi gue bulan ini adalah, gue yang harus kontrol mereka, bukan mereka yang ngontrol gue sebelum gue jadi rusak sak sak.. but HOW?

maybe it's not too late, not today

2009-04-30T16:26:00.018+07:00

idk how to care, idk how am i suppose to do? all i know the real you just vanished from me, so funny that i don't know what else to do. i really really missed the old sight of you and it's been a long time i felt this way. we're not in fight, no. but i know, you know, there's just something went wrong and there's a circle of negativity around us and your silly friends i can't deal with. but did you ever care with it? did i ever care with it? not at all. we always try to put things off, but we never try to solve it.. but if we do love each other, it never happens, right? no it's not like backstabbing or whatever. i just expect your awareness, E, that's all. i mean, don't you feel tired living a sick-situation like this? cause i am, E. furthermore we need some purpose and direction why we keep doing this. just be honest to yourself. do we have to keep straight on, or stop this train?

t s and j

cuaca tahee

2009-04-30T15:00:00.005+07:00

hei tasyongers!

kembali lagi bertemu dengan saya, tasyong, dalam situs yang sama, di tsjsobb.blogspot.com, CLING!
apa kabar kalian semuaaa?
semoga kalian-kalian ga senasib kayak gue huhuhu, yang sedang sangat kepanasan di kamar. gila deh hari ini parah banget cuaca di dayeuh kolot.
amat sangat terik dan DEBU DIMANA-MANA. ngotor-ngotorin muka plus bikin gosong kulit gue aja. tapi tenang-tenang, wajah gue tetap imut dan manis kok hehe
hhhhmmmm hari ini perkuliahan lancar-lancar aja, orang-orang yang daritadi gue temuin juga asik-asik aja (begitu juga dengan muka-muka nya ehem ehem), tadi matakuliahnya ga bikin bosen stadium 3, nyantai abis hari ini dah well hari ini bakal perfect seandainya cuaca ENGGAK PANAS.
eiya beberapa waktu terakhir ini, kampus gue kayaknya lagi banyak duit. jadi kerjaannya sibuk bikin building baru di kampus, contoh bangunan yang lagi digarap adalah Learning Centre Building sama gatau apaan tuh yang ada di depan MSU. ckckck SANGAT BERSYUKUR GUA MASUK TELKOM TAHUN INI. Tahun Paling Berdebu. Tahun Kayu. Tahun Bulldozer. Tahun Kuli. ya you name it lah.
gue aga sebel sama kampus gue ini, udah duitnya banyak, sibuk bikin gedung-gedung baru, renovasi gedung-gedung lama, tapi fasilitas yang cukup vital di kampus sama sekali ga diperhatikan, yakni WC UMUM. sampe kapan gue harus bolak-balik ke asrama cuma buat boker doang? kelamaan di jalan dong, kalo tiba-tiba udah keburu berceceran di jalan gimana? hehehe, enggaklah.. habisan boker di WC kampus mah jijay gue. jorok. ntar keluar dari WC yang ada langsung divonis PK lagi gue. udah gitu WC Umum buat cewek dikampus gue itu sangat MINIMALIS SEKALI. setiap WC cewek cuman punya 1 CLOSET. WC cowok ada BANYAK CLOSET. ditambahin dong kloset WC cewek nya atuh. terus masa, kaca di WC cowok lebih LEBAR dibanding kaca di WC cewek yang cuman sepetak? aduh aduh ini namanya pembunuhan hak asasi wanita o.O
mana hak kami untuk berkaca, MANAAAAA?
#kesel
yah, walau gajelas arahnya kemana dan ceritanya muter-muter gini, inti dari semuanya sih cuma satu.
GUE GA SUKA AJA CUACA HARI INI. hehe
udah ah.
pergi lo.
wueek.

favorite words of the day, sent by my friend via facebook's wall a while ago:
love is a game, but you play with your heart (by: grace mary)
hmm.
i even not only play it with my heart, mary. i play it with all i am, without reserve. hmm drama drama drama.

2009-04-25T15:21:00.007+07:00

E, HAVE YOU EVER REALIZED?
please stop doing this and get me out of it

i just need you
to understand.
that's all.

miss you, home

2009-04-24T07:30:00.003+07:00

take it easy man, we're not on SPMB or something

2009-04-23T23:37:00.005+07:00

ujian tengah semester sudah usai beberapa hari yang lalu tapi atmosfernya masih terasa jelas, mengelilingi sekujur tubuhku (halah)
jadi begini, nilai-nilai uts kan udah pada keluar hasilnya, dan beberapa temen gue rada streso gitu dengan hasil yang mereka dapet karena hasil uts kali ini kurang sesuai dengan apa yang mereka perkirakan dan harapkan. bukan karena mereka ga ada usaha, justru mereka sudah sangat berusaha. mereka juga tergolong anak-anak yang rajin dan tekun belajar terbukti dari semester terakhir dimana IP cukup memuaskan. tapi apa daya tangan tak sampai raam punjambi (kok gaya bahasa gue lama-lama jadi kaya eek gini ye?)
hmm pasca-uts sedikit membuat gue risih gelisah-gelisah basah. kenapa? karena dikit-dikit anak-anak tuh ya, obrolannya nilai ute-eees melulu. terus pada histeris gitu, ngomongnya nilai uts mata kuliah ini aib banget lah, nilai mata kuliah yang itu jelek banget lah, padahal sih poin nya 35 dari skala 40. pantat banget kan, uda sukur dapet segitu. yaudalaaaa jangan bahas uts lagi ah ga ada obrolan yang lain apa?
well perlu usaha yang lebih keras lagi untuk ujian akhir semester nanti. nilai-nilai uts gue yang udah keluar ini alhamdulilah masih dalam zona aman, diatas rata-rata lah.tapi bagi temen-temen gue, zona aman is not a good idea. dan nilai zona aman ini, bisa bikin mereka jerit-jerit tak terima dalam hati, bagi mereka yang mendapatkannya. uts udah selesai, tapi masih bisa-bisanyaaaaa gitu loh, mereka ngebahas soal-soal uts yang kemarin-kemarin. lagi dan lagi. ya oloh. toh itu ga akan ngerubah apa-apa. gue hanya bisa tersenyum kecil melihat kondisi ini.
maklum gue bukan tipe orang yg study-oriented, jadi perkara nilai sih ga ngaruh-ngaruh amat dalam hidup gue. gue bukan tipe orang yang terlalu obsesif sama nilai. jadi sih kalo dapet nilainya segitu ya udah santai aja lagi kayak di pantai.. bukan ga punya target juga, gue punya goals tapi kalo memang gue ga bisa mencapai itu sekarang ini, masih ada lain hari untuk memperbaiki. males ah kayaknya ngiri sama temen sendiri yang nilainya lebih bagus gitu. padahal nilai nya beti a.k.a beda tipis.. kenapa musti ga rela kalo orang lain nasibnya lebih lucky daripada kita? i mean heeey tolong di garisbawahi, we are grown-up, that behavior is soooooo toddler! take it easy man, we're not on SPMB or something. terima lah nilai uts kalian apa adanya. kita memang udah berusaha keras, mungkin usaha kita ga sekeras orang lain, atau kurang strategi. nilai kalian bagus-bagus kali, masih banyak mahasiswa-mahasiswi di luar sana yang ga seberuntung kalian, so be grateful for that, buddies.

eh. kepeleset

2009-04-16T17:35:00.001+07:00

sambil menyelam buang air.
ma’ lu bertanya, ma’ gue yang jawab
wong ompong nyaring bunyinya
ke bukit sama mendaki, ke lurah bikin KTP
nasir sudah menjadi tukang bubur
ada ubi, ada talas, ada pisang rebus
tak ada maling yang tak retak
alonalon asal kelakson
karena nila setitik rusak susu sebelahnya
tak ada rotan Raam Punjabi
air susu dibalas dengan Air Mail
maksud hati memeluk Nunung apa daya keburu digampar

chefd'oeuvre

2009-04-11T09:14:00.023+07:00

last thursday on 9 april, adults suppose to attend general elections and vote their legislative-candidate. but neither did these little mouses. tassja, ima, and grace. as the reach one's majority women, they didn't took their civil rights. they didn't enter TPS (tempat pembuangan sampah) and there was no ink-spot on their pinkie.. but dont call them as the irresponsible citizen. they did pray that the general elections provides the right leader.

so that morning, that 3 mouses still cat-napped in grace's bed (ima and tassja spentthe night in grace's place on 8 april) and they already starved. what a poor famished-stomach. there was no food in refrigerator and restaurants were closed. so they had an idea to prepare their own meal. (fyi they're not skilled in cooking, so they made a simple home cooking)

3mouses in action. clockwise; ima, tassja, grace

and 1hour later.. tatatatataaaaa meals are served

scrambled-egg(s)

fresh.vegetables

tempe sambel! lol
well, simple beeenggggget i knooow, but you should try-lah
don't judge from its look, karena look nya yaelah ga ada yang pantes dipuji. but its taste was good! (kalo lagi kepepet laper)

thanks for your kitchen grace
and your.. uhm our cook! tahahaha ;p

so after had lunch, they took a nap (again) togethah. and the grey one, tassja, went back to her dormitory to took her laptop, charger, and things, and decided to spent the night (again) in grace's place blablablabla oke, skip it.
at night, they watch two so-long-ago dvd's, bring it on and house of blood until 1:00 AM. the funny things is nor of them watched it until finish because they fell asleeeeep and ngorok. tck. tck. tck.

just bold it

2009-04-06T21:32:00.005+07:00

(bold the ones you've done)

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candle light bath with someone
08. Said "I love you" and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby's diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten celebration with champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and didn't care who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Taken a midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theatre
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played DVD for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo temporarry or not
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on a television news program as an "expert"
83. Gotten flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Passed out cold
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone's heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a TV game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on a photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for 30 hours in a 48 hour period
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. States
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad and The Odyssey
135. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone's life

dari sepatu butut sampe fisika kentut.

2009-04-06T18:32:00.006+07:00

jam 8 kurang, gue udah duduk manis di kursi. hampir semua mahasiswa yang satu ruangan sama gue juga melakukan hal yang sedemikian rupa. Gue mengambil sikap senyaman mungkin sambil nungguin asisten dosen ngebagiin kertas soal ujian sama lembar ujian. gue melirik ke arah sepatu gue dan ngerasa geli sendiri. Terbilang jarang gue make pantofel item ke kampus dan jarang gue make kaos kaki putih sampe diatas betis ke kampus. karena biasanya gue cuma make sepatu vincci gembel kesayangan gue yang bercat warna favorit gue itu tanpa perlu repot ngekaosin kaki. Well gue hanya merasa sangat bersemangat di hari pertama gue UTS ini. (hoeekk)

ga lama beberapa menit kemudian si asdos mulai ngebagiin soal secara estafet dan anak-anak pada ng-estafetin soal tersebut dari depan kebelakang. ga lama, soal ujian itu mendarat tepat di depan hidung gue.
Untuk 2-3 menit pertama gue membaca satu-satu soal ujian fisika yang terdiri dari 6soal itu. sambil nyoba buat nyerna secara keseluruhannya. gue selidikin soal nomor 1 dan membaca secara cepat untuk ngedapetin apa intinya.. hmm.. nanti aja lah, gue pikir. gue lewatin lagi ke nomor 2.. beberapa saat, gue berpindah ke nomor 3, karena nyerah, gue pindah lagi ke nomor 4, pindah ke nomor 5, dan.. tunggu tunggu tunggu. Apa-apaan nih? Mana soal yang memuat pertanyaan tentang medan listrik, potensial listrik, dan beda potensial di rb di bola konduktor berongga? Ato bola apa kek, bola bola konduktor dengan isolator didalamnya kek, ato di kabel koaksial yang silinder kek gitu. Mana? Gue kan lumayan bisa disitu! tapi ini ga ada disinggung sama sekali. Terus otak gue uda sampe berbusa belajar kapasitor dielektrik ngebacain rumus-rumusnya sampe juling 7 keliling, tapi yang disinggung Cuma 1% aja nih jadinya disoal ini? Intinya, dari semua contoh soal yang gue, ima, friska, sama stevany pelajarin kemaren, cuma 25% aja yang keluar disoal-soal itu. yaudah deh. Habis deh gue.
5 menit
7 menit
10 menit kemudian
Lembar jawaban gue masih putih bersih
Lembar soal pun masih kinclong tak bernoda. gue nyoba untuk tenang dan mulai untuk ngerjain dari nomor yang paling terakhir (karena 3nomor terakhir gampang banget) dan yah Setengah dari 6soal itu sih bisa gue kelarin, setengahnya lagi? yah gue duduk ngelamunin kertas soal gue, berharap Roh Kudus datang atasku, hehehe. kali aja kan. tapi well, mungkin lagi ga nasib karena gue ga liat malaikat disamping gue untuk bisikin contekkan. terpaksa deh pasang muka tembok, dijawab dgn sepede-sepedenya! Moga-moga apa yang gue jawab tadi bisa ngasih mujizat buat nilai fisika nanti, hahaha sukur-sukur aja lahya pasrah aja deh gue nya laaah

ditulis dengan kesadaran penuh
karena ga tau mau posting apa jadi rada gapenting ;)
motto of the day : I H8M.ONDAY

fag!

2009-04-02T23:20:00.010+07:00

have you realized something? all of this shit always came up from you, dont you understand? you always gave me a misery and now what? i'm fagged out because of YOU, Mr. INNOCENT then why dont you just take your ass away and dissapear from me? i really mean it. i knew before you're just a smart little liar. your L's fake! you think you're special, dont you? ha-ha-ha i laughed at myself and think how dumb i am right now. big applause for you because you played such a good role.. anywaaaays ya, i can get many guys ~~more than like you~~, asshole.

p.s. dont take it seriously you're still the one, though.

2009-04-02T20:04:00.001+07:00

well, ..ǝuoǝɯos dɐ1s oʇ ǝɹısǝp ı !

25facts of my body

2009-04-02T18:03:00.011+07:00

25 facts about your body, see how well you know about yours. write down 25 facts about your body, from head to toe, from hair to nail.

1. i have a wavy hair and a bit auburn. if i wake up in the morning it's curly or if i take a shampoo and let it dry my hair's gonna so raaaaawr and hella yeah i rarely comb my hair
2. slightly eyebrows and i hate it
3. slightly eyelashes and i hate it
4. my eyes are dark brown
5. i have a little ears
6. my nose? i think it's cute ;)
7. i have a sexy thin lips buahaha
8. about my teeth, well i've to say i miss wearing my bracket because ehem, it's bucktoothed!
9. because of my sexy forehead lots of my friends in JHS and SHS told me JENONG. and now few of my classmates start to use that silly word on me!
10. i have an oval face
11. and a sexy neck ;)
12. a small shoulder
13. i'm way too skinny and it doesnt look good ;(
14. guitar-shaped body type (if only i can gain my weights, a little! lol)
15. proportional-legs ;) it looks cuttteee
16. flat stomach (my favorite part!)
17. i usually let my fingernail on my left hand "uncleaned". because of kuteksss. gahaha.
18. i have much fur in my body hehehe except on my armpit, it grows more slowly :p
19. my butt's not too big and i haaaaate it taaahaha
20. i hate those yucky blackhead in my nose
21. my cheek an chin turns to red if i laughing
22. i have no body odour luckily
23. my chin looks sweet hoho
24. what else?
25. there are "two else" that i cannot published to you and you and you hehehehe :))

loveydovey,
anastassja-

apirilly moifcukinpy

2009-04-02T08:02:00.004+07:00

what a so-so april mop.. everything's went like today wasn't AM. but wait.. ACTUALLY yah there's a little shitty thing happen, graaaahh ;(
jadi hari ini pas gue kelar kelas PTT, gue sama ima jalan ke kantin.. tiba-tiba my deary-good-friend meng-sms gue. dia blg si mr. X bakal nembak dia abis UTS tepatnya tanggal 20april. who the hell is mr. X? yah, mr unnamed ini memang terkesan sangat misterius. yang jelas matanya minus, suka ngeden di kakus, orangnya rakus, badannya kurus, kulitnya mulus, jalannya alus, punya akal bulus, jaaah, STOP. Pokoknya nih cowok di taksir mati-matian sama my deary-good-friend inilah.. gue tau segimana menggebu-gebu nya temen gue ini sama tuh cowok.
sebagai temen yang hampir tiap ari jadi tong sampahnya my deary-good-friend, gue amat sangat kaget sekaget-kagetnya, ga percaya se ga percaya percayanya, dan seneng se seneng senengnya! gila aja loh, cowok yang mayan eksis itu akhirnya menambatkan hatinya ke my-deary-good-friend ini..
seharian ini urusan perkuliahan gue rada nyebelin, kuis 4 kali, sempet bermasalah sama bagian perpustakaan, and all i wanna do is meet my deary-good-friend dan bakal menginterogasi dia sebanyaaak banyaknyaaaa!
tapi siapa sangka. smua hanya dusta belaka.
so i wanna thank you to my deary-good-friend, Anggun Roseline, for APRIL-MOPPING me!
i'm blogwalking to yours, and darn it i just knew you're LYIIIIINGGGGG TO MEEE!! aaaaaaaaargh..!!
yayayayaya elo berhasil ngerjain gue, elo tampak sangat bahagia menulis kejadian hari ini di blog. liat aja lu, lain kali kalo dia beneran nembak lo gue bakal berdukacita. gue bakal nangis sekejet-kejetnya menjerit-jerit kaya baru ketemu sundel bolong. gue ga mao nerima PJ dari lo!
pokoknya ga lucu deh
:6

from slumdog millionaire to mucho things that ocurred pleasureably

2009-03-23T00:13:00.016+07:00

(this occurs last sunday, 22 march)
6 in the morning i raaaawr-ed myself and..
im totally the left out one karena gue baru bisa nonton slumdogmillionaire yang itupun dari softcopy-an kak bon.. awalnya sih, pas tuh film baru nongol dan begitu tau film itu berbau-bau india, yang gue bayangkan 1pasang cewek-cowok dengan setting di taman luaaaaaas dengan banyak pohon, bunga-bungaan, kain sari, tari perut cuih, kalung emas-gelang tangan-gelang kaki yang bertumpuk-tumpuk, titik merah dijidat si perempuan, tari-tariannya yang menurut gue "gak banget" itu daaan masih banyak agy.. wey tapi yg ini engga. ternyata jauh dari kaya yang gitu-gituan dan pd akhirnya ditonton juga sama gue bahkan sampe 2 kali gue tonton. minggu pagi begitu bangun, gue setel tuh film (lagi). dan saking terbuainya gue dengan dev patel ga sadar tinggal 30 menit lagi waktu yang tersisa buat gue untuk siap-siap berangkat ke gereja. whereas i need 1,5 hours to prepare myself.. jadi ya tanpa basa-basi gue langsung ngiprit ke kamar mandi gebyar-gebyur seadanya, cucimuka, sikat gigi, sikat semua dah apa yang bisa gue sikat dan alhasil yang harusnya udah berangkat jam setengah9 , gue nya baru berangkat jam9 lewat.
kan gue janjian sm 2temen gue di satu tempat supaya berangkatnya bareng gt dan mereka jadi terpaksa nunggu setengah jam deh gara-gara gue :( pas batang idung gue nongol, bete signal mereka udah terdeteksi dari radius 100 meter. o my goat. big apolgz :(

after the mattins then..
me richard ima didi friska donny etta decided to had lunch first together in *bip* restaurant and then went to pasar baru. entah kenapa tujuannya kesini tapi alasannya ada yg bilang mau nyari batik, ada yg bilang mau nyari bedcover, ada yg blg mau nyari tas, ada yg cuma pengen liat2, ya ya ya ok we go now shut uppppp
dan ga tau siapa yang ngasih ide gila buat jalan kaki kesana. Kings to Pasar Baru. mayan jauh loh. sekitar 4-5 km an. tapi ternyata ga rugi juga karena jalan kaki ternyata lebih NIKMAT! dan oo sayang banget selama perjalanan ga gue foto-foto in.. model-model bangunan yang kita lewatin selama perjalanan sih biasa aja tapi tatanan jalan-jalannya berasa kaya di kota yang ada di jakarta. atmosfir belanda nya dapet. selebihnya yang bisa dilihat cuma jalan raya, pedagang-pedagang asongan di sepanjang jalan, pedagang kaki lima (sama ga sih?) ruko-ruko tua dan apalagi saat itu gerimis, bau-bau tanah, becek, and it's really cool. gue sering nemuin yang kaya gini dijakarta cuma ga tau deh pokoknya ada ajalah yang terasa beda. i like raindrops. i like letting myself been kissed by mizzle.. cold, chilly, with fresh breeze around me.. that's wht i felt, i even didnt realize tht i satisfied myself on tht time :) tapi kalo ujannya rintiknya cuman kecil doang. kalo gede, gue ogah.

sesampainya disana, wuih, sumpek juga yah. maklumlah namanya juga namanya.. ITC mangga dua aja masih lebih manusiawi.

richard : "istri, liat baju nya nih (nahan gue di satu ruko sambil nunjuk ke moslem white dress), kau pasti cocok pake ini.. buat umroh kita nanti.."

dasar richard gila.

begitu muter-muter nyari batik akhirnya gue bingung. richard sama didi mulutnya sampe berbuih rekomendasiin gue batik dgn motif dan model mana yang cocok buat gue. gue celinguk-celinguk si friska sama etta udah entah kemana. sedangkan si ima lagi sibuk sendiri dengan batiknya, mengelus-ngelus pilihan kesayangannya, menimang-nimangnya, dan sedang berusaha amat keras untuk menawarnya sama si pedagang. hehe.

sekarang kita forward ceritanya dulu sampe finish, close blog gue, dan dateng lagi entar-entar. hehe. ntar gua lanjut lagi :o

creepy guy

2009-03-21T14:12:00.004+07:00

kurang lebih jam 00:00 pagi
sehabis dapet tutoring linear algebra dari kamar temen yg ada dilantai4, luckyto, gue pun balik ke kamar gue di lantai1
gue lempar tumpukan buku binder, diktat, sama tas ke tempat tidur
dan gue pun melempar diri gue sendiri ke atasnya
nguap
ngulet
capek
monyong..
sialan
maag gue kambuh
sakittt
bego, stok makanan abis. di lemari bener-bener food-less, duh!
satu jam kemudian si ima tlv, tumben
tapi ada yang aneh dari suaranya.

full of fear.
gue lupa konversasi secara detailnya tapi intinya seperti ini,
gue juga aga gimana gitu sih dengernya.. hmm.

jadi temen gue ini lagi nonton di kosan nya, dan posisi duduknya kebetulan dekat sekali dengan pintu utama. disebelah pintu utama ada jendela dengan gorden putih dan ada celah yang cukup lebar di jendela itu, jadi memungkinkan untuk liat keadaan diluar rumah. pas temen gue selesai nonton dan mau beranjak, dia sepintas liat ke arah jendelanya.
it's 12 o'clock in the midnight and something strange happened.
there's a man standing by the window and looking at her with a frighten mimic.
temen gue langsung beku sekian detik, pengen teriak udah gabisa, lemas seketika, bener-bener shock.
itu jam 12 pagi gitu loh DUA BELAS PAGI! dan itu creepy bgt! jalanan sepi, suasana hening, tiba-tiba ada penampakan kayak gt gimana ga spot jantung? dan laki-laki ini langsung menghilang gitu aja entah kabur entah gimana-gimana gue ga ngerti, mungkin dia nyadar juga.
lingkungan kosannya memang kurang bagus karena kalo malem-malem gue lewat situ untuk ke kosannya, suka banyak laki-laki nongkrong dan kalo cewek lewat suka yang ngegodain dan cara ngegodain nya kampungan abis..
well kejadian yang cuma berlangsung dalam hitungan detik ini cukup bikin temen gue shock selama 9jam. well, kalo jadi dia mungkin gue bisa mati suri selama 9 jam -_-

wth, it's trash

2009-03-20T08:06:00.006+07:00

okkie, set yourself like you were in IosTos Telkomos a.k.a the WCU (water closet umum). well at least you trynna figure it out what the heck is that mean ;) so i had these simple things like; class skipping, walked in campus area or headed to food court (but it closely like school canteen i guess, ew), be accompanied with some screwy folks, foolish, but gratifying persons, went to A and B building together, or skipped for a while to see PMK wall magazine then hurried into class.. and in that 'little trip' we met with some dashing-male-seniors then we do this aaaaaaaw-ing, blushing, and scream with a lower voice norakly. well, those gave a little amusement to me
even sometimes i have to met wit a "bunch of kids" which i didn't like, that little group, yeah.. it gave me a.l.a too. i mean i enjoyed eeeeeevery single of their fake smiles, that beautiful cynical, and stuffs.. sometimes i still have no idea why these kiddos 'observed' me like i am a creature from outer space.. gee. is there any snot in my nose? or my hair too wavy? or i forgot wore my bra? or.. or what? am i way too gorgeous?
oke, the last Q absolutely a big falsehood. laknatation.

simulasi pelatihan musik dasar

2009-03-06T23:08:00.011+07:00

hi folks. baru aja balik dari satu tempat nih dan entah kenapa gue berhasrat sekali pengen posting.. gue baru balik dari Student Center, salah satu building di kampus. Sore tadi gue ngikutin Simulasi Pelatihan Musik Dasar (PMD). kalo ada yang ga tau apaan tuh PMD, tenang-tenang bakal gue jelasin sewaras mungkin. bisa dibilang itu semacam pelatihan di PMK bagi mereka yang pengen melayani Tuhan jadi pengerja. ada dua jenis pelayanan, pengen jadi Worship Leader ato Pemusik. nah kalo pengen jadi gituan syaratnya harus ngelewatin PMD dulu, dikasih bekal dan pelatihan sgala macem. terus nanti ada PML (kalo gasalah Pelatihan Musik Lanjutan) itu sebagai lanjutan dari PMD. jadi 2 pelatihan itu 'konektor' kalo pengen jadi pengerja di PMK kampus gue.

terus mana yang lo ambil tas?
ayo kita liat dari opsi pertama. Worship Leader. hmmmmm. untuk menjadi seorang WL bagi gue = lampu merah. kenapa? takutnya temen-temen yang gue arahin nanti pas persekutuan bakal jadi SESAT. ya gimana deh mimpin dan ngarahin diri sendiri aja gue belum becus pegimana kalo ngarahin orang ke jalan yang benar? daripada gue ditimpukin orang nyebarin ajaran yang salah-salah dan di puji setan mending ga usah deh. maka WL di coret dari list gue.
lah tas jadi lo ambil pemusik gitu? pegimane lu jadi pemusik, kentut aja masih fals.
wah cui bagi gue ga papa lah soal kentut fals, setidaknya gue kan bisa dikit-dikit main alat musik. dan setidaknya kan ada niat untuk melayani Tuhan. habis ngeliat senior-senior gue yang tiap kali ngiring di depan setiap persekutuan, gue punya kerinduan aja untuk bisa kaya mereka. ngelanjutin apa yg pernah gue lakuin dulu-dulu masa smp dan sma. walau dengan skill pas-pasan sih.. setelah minta pendapat dan sharing ke beberapa kakak dan temen deket untuk memantapkan niat gue itu, akhirnya jadilah gue join di PMD.
hampir 1 minggu ngikutin setiap pelatihan-pelatihannya, passion gue semakin besar untuk ngikutin sesi-sesi yang ada. meskipun jadwal makan malam berantakan karena pelatihannya dari sore jam6 sampe jam 10 malem, dengan terheran-heran gue bersyukur banget sampe detik ini fisik gue bisa di ajak kompromi (soalnya biasanya pola makan berantakan dikit jadi sakit-sakitan). gue percaya Tuhan ambil bagian dalam hal ini.. dan gue merasa setelah ngikutin sesi-sesi yang ada, niat gue jadi makin mantap.. bahkan setela ngikut ini kehidupan rohani gue jadi semakin bagus.. eh eh kata-kata gue ga ngenek in kan yah? ntar dikira gue sombong rohani lagi.. dan sampe hari ini, sesi terakhir kayanya, simulasi PMD. jadi satu kelompok harus ada 2 gitaris dan 1 keyboardis. dan harus ngebawain 3 lagu. terus setela di bagi kelompok, gue satu tim sama Rendy & Donny sebagai gitaris. beberapa hari terakir dengan jadwal kuliah masing-masing yang sama-sama padat kita coba cari waktu yang tepat buat latihan latihan dan latihan..
lucu juga sih ngeliat mereka berdua, ngeliat pengalaman kemaren2 latihan bareng, asyik juga kerja sama barengan mereka berdua.. yang ada pas latihan bareng, yaaah ketawa-ketawa aja deh hahaha. habis mereka nya kocak2 gitu sih.. kadang si donny tampangnya suka di blo'on blo'on in. terus rendy yang polos gt.. terus kadang kita suka debat enakan intro nya gimana, terus kadang gue yang ga mau ngalah ngasih masukan hehehe. maaf yaa ren, don.. tapi kalian menerima saja ketidakmau-kalahan ku hehe
dengan segala-segala kekurangan dan kelebihan kita, masing-masing berusaha menyetarakan ketika mainin satu lagu. jadi ga ada yang 'berat sebelah'. dan itulah yang gue dapet selama latihan bareng mereka. suka duka pas latihan, dari yang susah nyamain tempo, kunci yang suka ga kompakan, suka lupa urutan-urutan nya, apalagi di barengin dengan suara kita yang parah banget pas-pasan nya. cuma ya hal-hal yang kaya gitu jadi lucu. apalagi si rendy tuh, dia suka tiba-tiba yang bengong sendiri, mukanya bego banget, bingung sama tempo dia yang belepotan, hihi. dari sini gue pengen bilang, kita itu masih ga ada apa-apa nya lah. gue ngakuin diri gue juga masih perlu banyak belajar.

then simulasi dijalankan ;)
semangat banget gue awal-awalnya! gue udah meyakini diri sendiri, it could be perfect. tadi sore nyempetin latian bentar di depan sekre ukm band pas latian bareng mereka (cuma ga pake keyboard, jadi gue ngapalin aja 'rumus-rumus' nya) and i think we were good.
jadi simulasi di adain di SC lantai 3 tepatnya di sekre KMK. jadi tadi ada 9 kelompok yang harus maju untuk tampil, dan sedihnya kelompok gue kelompok 8 jadi maju nya belakangan..
tadi yang maju bagus-bagus. keren-keren. SALUTE! bosen juga nunggunya. karena satu kelompok rata-rata maju 15menitan, karena di komen lagi sama senior-senior untuk eval. udah gitu perut gue mana krik-krik mulu. dan alhasil pas giliran kelompok gue maju (jam setenga10an malem) gue udah capek duluan.. laper.. ngantuk.. capek nunggu coy..

and you know what, thing isn't goin good.
ga sesuai dengan harapan, ada kunci2 yang miss dan salah-salah. dan itu semua disebabkan oleh gue. hmf! sangat membikin gue bete abis saat itu. dan gue gasadar gue mainnya jutek, ga ada senyumnya, hahaha, ga ada kontak mata sama audience nya, aihhhh cauuurr bleuuuuuh!! bego bego bego. abis gue nervous tau gini-gini juga. gue sebel banget setelah kita kelar mainin 3 lagu itu (Allah Sumber Kuatku, Dihadirat-Mu, sama Tiap Jam ya Tuhan)
gue ngerasa belum ngasih yang terbaik. semua pada bagus-bagus tadi mainnya, pada 'nyatu' dan mainnya bersih, tapi sayangnya saat itu kita ga ngedapetin itu. mana tadi ada penekanan tuts gue yang melenceng. setelah selesaiin ketiga lagu itu, gue langsung lesu dalam hati. i expected a satisfying respons from them at that time tapi kayanya orang-orang juga keliatan uda cape. jadi senior juga cuma ngasih evaluasi seadanya, berhubung waktu udah ga cukup jadi tadi terkesan terburu-buru, mereka pengennya cepet selesai. trus tadi bang Henry yang komen.. hmm kurang puas jg sh soalnya yang dikomenin bukan cara main kita tapi ada penggunaan kunci yang ga pada tempatnya gitu2. gue bener-bener ga puas banget sama malam ini. i mean gue butuh suatu evaluasi yang bener-bener ngena, bener-bener ngomentarin kekurangan kita tadi. sempet yang tiba-tiba gue jadi nge down dan lemes huhuhu..
seharusnya gue ga bersikap kaya gini sih, karena bukan masalah teknis ato gimana2, cuma tadi penghayatannya ga dapet sama sekali. karena udah cape itu kali yah.. hmm..

dan tau ga sih, gue pulang dengan bete nya, nyampe asrama, sapa temen sekamar, langsung tutup pintu kamar, terus spontan gue yang nangis aja gitu loh. ih apaan sih sejak kapan sih gue kayak gini, GA BANGET!
gue sampe yang gini loh, ngapain sih gue ada disana waktu itu?

cuma setelah gue nangis dan renung2in, gue mendapatkan satu nilai kecil.
diluar dari performa yang mungkin masih bisa dibilang 'kurang' dari apa yang diharapkan saat itu, ini semua bukan masalah teknis, tapi intinya usaha kita. usaha kita untuk menyampaikan itu ke Tuhan, bukan sekedar show-off sama chord-chord dan improvisasi yang bikin telinga jadi tergelitik. mungkin cara penyampaian kita tadi masih kurang, yah gue sihtetep mikir positif setidaknya gue sudah berusaha memberikan yang terbaik saat itu. gue, a'a rendy, dan a'a donny.
Tuhan kan ga perlu sesuatu persembahan dalam form yang bagus, tapi persembahan yang dibarengi dengan hati yang tulus.

2009-03-03T02:36:00.006+07:00

snapshot.

bang! bang!

2009-03-01T23:24:00.016+07:00

most of my closest friends told me that i've changed this lately (not thoroughly). it's not in a negative way but it's all about the maturity that i finally got. what a good progress because in my age sifat seperti itu seharusnya udah ada. mature nya sih juga bukan yang gimana-gimana juga, cuma cara penyingkapan gue terhadap satu masalah. yep it all started from this problem which could made me dropped for a week, terjadinya 'program diet' yang amat sgt ga diinginkan, pikiran bercabang-cabang, nguli-ah jadi berantakkan, im totally smashed. i said so doesn't mean that's because a complex-dillema.. it's just a misunderstanding between me and my boyf i guess, but it's just too complicated, exhausted with his nonchalant, geeeeeeee, why he has to be so quite in facing this uncomfortable-cold-atmosfer? sick of this and the pain does kill me softly. i'm about to giving him up at that time. i tried to read his careless an felt distressed, presumed he didn't care about me anymore. yah.. presume. i had a bad record about presuming other people. karena alhasil cuma bisa bikin gue ber-negative thinking-ria, menjauhkan diri gue sendiri dari mereka karena persepsi dan judgement yang suka ga tepat, dan itu salah satu tabiat buruk gue. oh God help me to remove this bad attitd.
according to the problem, at last i surrender. but.. there are so much things i've learnt.
now everything seems different even we are IAR again. well, like wise man said, just live it up.

kikukikuk

2009-02-23T09:56:00.005+07:00

hell-o any1!
i'm just arrived from j-tripleshit.
need a reason?
kemarin minggu ada acara keluarga di sana, biasa acaranya orang batak :p
nah kalo dateng ke acara org batak gue mah ga pnh pengen rugi.. hihihi. karena kenapa?
karena gue menunggu sesi manortor. kenapa? lo tau lah kalo org batak xixixixi
salam tempel nya ajib

mau mau?
e-mail ke gue nomer rekening lo.
lo pengen berapa, gue transfer. ngahaha

personality test

2009-02-21T01:14:00.007+07:00

click here and try it, pretty bore!

Your Handwriting
You are a sociable and outgoing person. You enjoy attending parties and seek attention from people wherever you can. The closer you place your words together, the more afraid you are of being left alone. Loneliness is your one great fear.
false

What's On Your Mind?
You'll drop everything to be with the partner of your dreams, and you'll give their sentimental presents rather than expensive ones. Nevertheless, your spontaneous nature does have a limit, and when the romance is over, you'll head back to work to pick up the pieces.
true

Your View On Yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
true

The type of your girlfriend/boyfriend you looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
true

Your Readlines To Commit The Relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
true

The Seriousness of Your Lv:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

false!

Your Views on Education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

false hahaha

The Right Job for You:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

false

How do You View Success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

true

What Are You Afraid of?
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
true

Who is True Yourself:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

TRUE!

The Real You:

You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.

You don't really care about other people's feelings. You do things the way you want and usually think only about yourself. You are easy-going and love to have fun, but you can be irresponsible as well. You are not keen on serious discussions because they can make you remember that life isn't always about parties

You are a bright, cheerful and bubbly person. You are thoughtful and considerate, and like to have fun. Everybody feels comfortable around you because of your pleasant nature. When you walk into a room, people's eyes are likely to be drawn to you because of your charm.

Guys see you as being a thinker and a careful person. They will be really attracted to this quality in you, but you need to learn to speak your mind, otherwise people will find you too shy and quiet. Learn to relax and lighten up--it's okay to have fun sometimes. When you learn to develop your fun-loving side, guys are going to flock to your side

Your boyfriend thinks that you are a real doll but this is not a totally positive thing. Sometimes you can be a bit too sweet, and come across as being helpless. If you're like this too frequently, your boyfriend and other people are likely to get tired of you having to rely on them all the time.

hmm. tapi boleh juga.

me versus kain pel

2009-02-20T23:39:00.007+07:00

kurang lebih 6 bulan ini gue sudah lumayan comfort dengan rutinitas yang ada. Dengan wajah-wajah yang bernama a sampe z yang udah satu paket dengan keunikan dan sifat masing-masing, sudah 'lumayan' dalam me-mantain hidup gue sendiri (kecuali dalam hal pola makan yg mana gue akuin gue payah banget ngatur waktu dan yang ogah-ogahan makan kalo ga laper-laper banget, sampe cowok gue bingung).

uda mayan terbiasa ngadepin hal dari yang ga tau jadi tau, dari yang ga biasa jadi rajin banget.
1bulan pertama gue di asrama, not bad. ga ada kesulitan yang berarti. semua berjalan lancar-lancar aja.
ngomong-ngomong soal asrama, gue punya sdikit memory kecil..
jadi suatu hari pas lagi jam-jam santai, gue sama temen kamar gue inisiatiff bersih-bersihin kamar, ruang tv, dan kamar mandi. nyapu sana-sini, ngelap jendela, meja belajar sana-sini. SIBUK BANGET! wew ga kalah sibuk sama businessman dan sepertinya dari ini gue bakalan dapet side job baru
semua di jabanin,
gue yang bangga gitu, udah gede gue skarang. kekekeekek, najong.
cuma satu,
gue ga bisa ngepel.
temen satu kamar gue menanggapi itu dengan
ketawa.

ketawa nya penuh penghinaan banget.

tp serius
gue ga pernah ngepel SEUMUR HIDUP gue.
sebetulnya bukan ga bisa 'ngepel' nya, tapi gue ga bisa 'meres' kain pel nya sama nyampur-nyampur apaan nya tuh cairan yg wangi-wangi itu deh. bingung dah. terus gue ngerengek2 minta temen gue buat meresin, then gue diajarin deh caranya ;)
sampe beberapa bulan berikut gue lagi rajin2nya beresin kamar dan gue juga udah makin lihai dalam per-kain pel-an, temen gue ini balik dari kampus.. pas gue lagi di kamar mandi meres in kain pel ih songong banget dia terdiam ngeliatin gue dan ketawa lagi.
"cuieeee uda bisa meres kain pel ya skarang, tas!"

tapi dia belum tau secret gue yang lain.. gue juga ga bisa NYUCI BAJU! ahaahahahaha yang iya nyuci kolor
bakal di pecat jadi calon menantu kalo begini modelnya hahaha.
pssssst jangan bilang-bilang ke temen gue ini bisa setresss dia entar kalo tau

gitu deh..
segelintir experience gue selama jauh dari orangtua
sungguh suatu pengalaman yang mengharukan yaa!
gue ampe pengen nangis gini
(nangis nyesek)

p.s : besok ke jakarta lagi.
gue sangat mengharapkan
sesuatu yang ga mungkin supaya terjadi.

pull the trigger off

2009-02-20T22:58:00.007+07:00

demi kolong langit yang mengontraskan bejatnya hidup ijinkan aku sekali saja mengecap neraka biarkan aku menari-nari dalam lidah api yang menjilat-jilat sehingga aku bisa meninggalkan kelaknatan dunia

tues'die'

2009-02-17T09:19:00.012+07:00

begitu pagi-pagi bangun, aku seneeeeeeeng sekaluee karena hari ini aku day-off sodara-sodaraa.. well sebetulnya ada mata kuliah bhs inggris 2 jam 3.20 nanti.. tapi karena gue ngerasa kurang sreg (setelah 1kali pertemuan) jadi gue berencana nge drop mata kuliah ini.. masih 'berencana'. that's not the reason tht i shouldn't attend the class today. tapi gue pikir-pikir toh kalo gue pgn nge-drop ngapain juga kan gue nyape-nyapein diri buat msuk ke kelas? yah gue memang orang yg suka menghalalkan segala cara.. disaat kondisi kejepit..

sedikit tentang mata kuliah yang gue ambil ini, sebetulnya waktu input mata kuliah semester 2 gue ngasal-ngasalan aja ngambil. iya sih mata kuliah ini ditawarin di semester 7 ato 8 gitu, sekitar tahun ke 4. jadi rata-rata nanti classmates gue senior angkatan 2005. yah palingan bisa lah di jalanin (kebiasaan lama: ngeremehin). tapi setela ngikutin 1kali pertemuan, gue amat sangat tidak nyaman dengan situasi yang ada.. ga ngedukung banget deh situasi kelasnya, so byebye english 2, i think im gonna drop you..

tues'die'
wht the heck is tht mean?
tht's mean,
i'm almost dieeee out here
haha
temen2 kamar pada kuliah.. jadi lah gue sendirian disini. sepi.. huhuhu.. ayo dong temenin gue disini, kita main.
haha.

bitch.

01:52:28 PM
one message received:
today there's no lecture. the lecture will be on THURSDAY AT 13.20

WTH, thursday's my full day, gee..

v, nol besar.

2009-02-14T21:20:00.009+07:00

seriusan pale'entin kali ini biasa bangeeeett ga kayak di tahun-tahun sebelumnya. ga dapet makna. yang ada apes. halaaaaah
macem imaho aja gue hari ini killing time bareng temen-temen cewek aih
cuma jalan seharian, karaoke an, nonton, seru juga sih.. tapi ah mana passion of valentine nyaaaaaaa? terus gue bego banget masa, tadi sebelum pulang mau ngambil duit dulu 'pan tuh di atm, gue salah masukin pin ampe 3 kali masya ollooo. uda dompet seret yang ada cuman logaman ih kayak orang susah bener deh gue tadi money-less hahaha! yaudah deh mateng deh ke blokir sudah rekening. ngurusnya masih harus senin besok lagi. ah bete. valentine sial.

p.s : roti tawar yang gue beli seminggu lalu masih utuh dan udah jamuran dilemari accidentaly.

happy V!

2009-02-14T08:08:00.004+07:00

happy valentine, anyone :)

14february, 3rd anniversary.

2009-02-13T23:38:00.009+07:00

"happy birthday to us, happy birthday to us, happy birthday happy birthday, happy birthday to me.."

i'd like to say happy 3rd anniversary to my boyf. i couldnt express how happy i am now because we could be together this far. sampe sekarang gue masih bangga banget karena tanggal jadian kita bertepatan dengan hari kasih sayang a.ka valentine's day! :))

well berkenaan dengan ini gue ga peduli kalo orang mungkin ada yang berpikiran apa ga bosen ato mungkin ada yang ngeremehin. gue ga peduli kalo dulu-dulu (bahkan sekarang) ada beberapa temen yang kurang setuju hanya karena mereka di butakan dengan perspektif mereka yang dangkal tentang dia. bukannya gue bermaksud tutup mata dan kuping, i mean hellooo? they didn't even know anything what is up between us.

karena satu dan lain hal jadi kita ga bisa ngerayain bareng-bareng deh. walau skr gue sama dia terpisah jarak yang bermil-mil jauhnya, tapi atmosfernya tetep gue rasain saat ini.

karena dari 2jam lalu kamu uda tidur karena capek yos, hehe, bisa lah ditolerir :') jadi, aku disini bakal blow my imajinary own candle dari jarak 116 km dari kamu.

i can't ensure we can be together like we ever expect, but i can ensure for now this love is only for you. at the past and this present, we're doing good. hope in the future, it will be. well, just let it be ;)

blow candles mode : on

fact finding

2009-02-13T11:13:00.007+07:00

fakta yang sangat menghambat proses kedewasaan gue saat ini:
1. with each passing day i become more thin.
2. gue berubah 180 derajat dibanding dulu. kata temen-temen sd smp gue sih dulu gue grasak-grusuk. tapi sekarang gue jadi lebih kalem, pendiem, anteng, my mom even said gue tipe orang yang ga fight. hmm. looks pathetic i am yeah i knew it. menyinggung soal quote: talk less do more, nah gue talk less do less.
3. selera makan berkurang. angin-anginanlah.
4. merasa semakin bego, lemot, dan susah nangkep informasi this lately :(
5. canggung
6. semakin malas
7. otak sama mulut suka ga sinkron, kadang cukup sulit buat gue untuk mengutarakan apa yang ada di otak gue.
8. kalo lagi nervous bisa keliatan dari kalimat-kalimat yang keluar dari mulut gue. sangat ga terstruktur.
9. anti sosial
10. selalu menanggapi masalah-masalah menjadi lebih rumit (more impossible to solve ujung-ujungnya)
11. semakin sensitiffff
12. ada masalah dengan cara berpikir. gue ngerasa otak gue crowded banget. mungkin ini yg bikin gue lo-la.
13. selalu menolerir kesalahan-kesalahan orang
14. suka underestimate
15. sangat payah dalam memanage-waktu
16. suka bengong
17 dst (selanjutnya masih dipikirkan)

dear E

2009-02-02T23:00:00.012+07:00

since i took a risk for letting you got into my life, you drew it wit those great colors
the disappointment, anger, and stuff unexpectedly made a sensationalism itself
you easily upset when we're in fight and it made me curious
your kind of difficult creature and i confessed it made you different than others
cold
kind of cynicism
kind of special
sometimes i unable to handle you, protester
you're so difficult to understand
but when i got lost, flustered, frightened and despaired
your anxiousness warmed me up
i could feel the circle of your protection
even you're not real for this time
even we far in the distance
i could feel you.
here. to the place we always belong to.

always.

impresicel saturday

2009-01-10T07:48:00.014+07:00

bujud. semalem gue mimpi aneeeeeh amat. bangun-bangun (yang dikarenakan alarm nya si anggun bunyi-bunyi terus dan kayaknya si anggun lagi mengidap tuli akut, karena, tu alarm ga di stop stop ama dia. padahal tu hp jelas jelaaaaaaas di sebelah kuping dia), gue langsung bertanya-tanya "apa maksud dari semua mimpi bodoh ini?"
gue bangun dari tempat tidur dengan kecewa. yang diduga kecewa karena dibangunin alarm nya anggun yg masih berkoar itu.. gue keluar dari kamar dengan hati bertanya-tanya. gue masuk kamar gue untuk ambil laptop, duduk, nyalain laptop, masukin password, enable wireless, terus nyalain vpn.. gue masih serius mikir tuh saat itu.. terus gue masuk mozilla.. masih dengan kondisi mempertanyakan apa dibalik semua ini..
gue nyalain facebook, dengan hati sumringah, gue main petpupz, terus balesbalesin wall temen. tapi kenapa aku tak bisa menendang kegelisahan ini dari pikiranku yang cetek ini ?
gue bak mendapat jawaban dari Tuhan. yah betul! mungkin gue harus mem-posting mimpi gue ini ke tsjsobb.blogspot.com supaya gue bisa lebih lega meluangkan segala rasa didada menepis segala kerinduan dan melampiaskan segala birahi doggy yang ada!
(LOH??? JADI NGAWUR??)
hahahah
*tertawa dengan wajah garing
dan gue berakhir disini.
dihadapan kalian teman-teman maya.
untuk menceritakan, apa yang kumimpikan semalam.
berhubung otak gue mengidap verybery-short-memory-fcukin-syndrome mungkin gue ga bs menjelaskan dari awal. sayang sekali yah, menyebalkan memang. (woooooo kayak penting aje mimpi lo, tas!!)
iya,
masa gini yah,
gue mimpi nya gini nih,
naah jadi nya gitu kan,
abis itu gini.
(RAAAAAAAAWR, TASSSJJA!! GUE LEMPAR LO PAKE LONTONG)

heheee, sabar boss, lo kayaknya emang excited pengen tau mimpi gua. tapi mau dong lontongnya. gue gi laper bege nih. ga ada makanan.
oke deh, kali ini gue serius.
*serious face mode: extremely ON.
(lah kaya mau SPMB)

gue mimpi gue lagi ada di outdoor gitu semacam hutan bisa dibilang (tapi ga hutan juga), trus gue lagi di koridor rak-rak makanan/barang yang kayak ada disupermaket gitu. (nah loh, ini opo toh iki?) disitu cuma ada gue, 1orang kasir, dan ada beberapa strangers lainnya. gue ga ngerti kenapa gue tiba-tiba ada disitu. but that's what it has to be when you're dreamin. terus tiba-tiba ni kasir kayak ngasi game gitu, dan gue bisa bilang that's a weird game. dia announced ke customer nya (included me) untuk bisa ngumpulin produk-produk berikut ke depan kasir setelah dikasih aba-aba. dan produknya tau ga apa coba? BOTOL AIR MINERAL.
setiap botol berlabel:
AQUA ; dapet bonus Rp. 50.000,-
VIT ; dapet bonus Rp. 10.000,-
diluar itu ; NOL.

nah produk2 itu ngacak, ga disatu rak aja, jadi kita harus collect dan dia ngasih waktu cuma berapa detik. nah sambil kasir nya masih jelasin prosedurnya ya terus gue kumpulin aja dah tuh aqua nya, gue ngumpulin cuma 5 ato 6 biji, soalnya uda ga keliatan lagi. customer yang lain belum pada mulai tuh, masi serius merhatiin kasir nya ngomong. ihhihi gue puas dalem hati kan tu, gue pasti daah yang menang. terus pas dia kasi aba-aba untuk 'nyari', gue langsung lari ke kasir terus buru-buru ngelemparin semua aqua di pelukan gue ke mejanya. tuh kasir ampe kewalahan. gue puas banget tuh cuy, soalnya gue orang pertama (ada juga sih satu kastemer lagi yang uda ngumpulin tapi jumlah botolnya lebih dikit dari gua. asik. aku pasti menang. nah ternyata saudara-saudara, ketika waktu selesai, kasir mengumumkana kalo pemenangnya adalah ANASTASSJA TANIA PEGGY bin OJAAAAAAN. weeeeeeei, hidup OJAAAN!
tapi kan ye, kalo di itung-itung, gue kan ngasi 6bijian, pasti award buat gue barang 300rb perak gitu kan. tp si kasir ngasih amplop duit ke gue, dan di tulis jumlahnya diluar. dan gue kaget. 1,5 juta??
darimane bosss??
tu kasir matanya siwer kali ya ato ga lulus SD gara-gara gabisa ngitung??
tapi disitu gue seneng banget wey, norak abis gitu (aib). mayan kaaan? gue mpe mikir mau ditabung buat beli camera. ahahaha.
well pals memang it's not a marvelous dream or something, instead, it's a rubbish! yaelah, tapi maksudnya apan ye, botol aqua sama duit 1,5 juta? apa gue bakal jadi pengemis botol aqua dan mendapatkan uang 1,5 juta? ato gue keselek botol aqua terus pas gue muntah yang keluar 15 lembar uang 100ribu? or what?
hhihi

only God and Lucifer know.

sorrrryyyy for wasting your time to read this so-called-yucky-post! :)
HAVE A GOOD SATURDAY, anyone.
make it fun!

tassja.latjuba

kolong langit + balik kaca = ?

2009-01-09T14:50:00.016+07:00

kezdaydreaming

overcloudsky

2009-01-08T16:58:00.003+07:00

i cant waste time so give it a moment i realize nothing is broken.

edoced

2009-01-07T23:04:00.004+07:00

decode - paramore

How can I decide what's right
When you're clouding up my mind?
I can't win your losing fight
All the time.

Not gonna ever own what's mine
When you're always taking sides?
But you won't take away my pride.
No, not this time.
Not this time.

How did we get here?
When I used to know you so well.
But how did we get here?
Well, I think I know.

The truth is hiding in your eyes
And it's hanging on your tongue.
Just boiling in my blood.
But you think that I can't see
What kind of man that you are,
If you're a man at all.
Well, I will figure this one out
On my own.
(I'm screaming, "I love you so.")
On my own.
(My thoughts you can't decode)

How did we get here?
When I used to know you so well, yeah.
But how did we get here?
Well, I think I know.

Do you see what we've done?
We've gone and made such fools
Of ourselves.
Do you see what we've done?
We've gone and made such fools
Of ourselves.

How did we get here?
When I used to know you so well, yeah, yeah.
How did we get here?
Well, I used to know you so well.
I think I know.
I think I know.

There is something I see in you.
It might kill me.
I want it to be true.
♥.

binary search

2009-01-07T09:16:00.006+07:00

sebentar lagi jam 11 gue ujian algo.. tapi gue sama sekali ga ada persiapan.. stiap buka buku ga pernah bisa konsen :( mana skarang pala gue pusing banget jiingg njing. belajar sekuensial file ga ngerti sama sekali. apa an sih tuh ah. aaah, tapi gue ga mau ngulang ALGO!! :((
sialan tuh anak.
udah bikin gue gini.

flightless bird, american mouth

2009-01-07T08:17:00.016+07:00

i love this song :)
this were played when edward cullen danced with 'tassja' swan ahaha :))

I was a quick wet boy, diving too deep for coins
All of your street light eyes wide on my plastic toys
Then when the cops closed the fair, I cut my long baby hair
Stole me a dog-eared map and called for you everywhere

Have I found you?
Flightless bird, jealous, weeping or lost you, american mouth
Big pill looming

Now I'm a fat house cat
Nursing my sore blunt tongue
Watching the warm poison rats curl through the wide fence cracks
Pissing on magazine photos
Those fishing lures thrown in the cold
And clean blood of Christ mountain stream

Have I found you
Flightless bird, grounded, bleeding or lost you, american mouth
Big pill stuck going down

hei "mr. innocent"

2009-01-07T07:26:00.006+07:00

really. i want to PUNCH you.

pathetic

2009-01-07T07:22:00.003+07:00

i'm sufferin monomania, indignation, ennui, embitterment, misgiving, unexpressedfeelin, then im being in a tight corner and will get pcychopathic squeamishly SOON and mournfully, "nobody cares" and they'll laugh at me presume i had lost my mind.

...

2009-01-03T01:24:00.004+07:00

I LOVE;
GOD, grandma, mami, papi, kezia, my bf, aunties, uncles, cousin
TODAY and not only for today but forEVER!!
I LOVE TODAY. I LOVE MY HOLIDAY IN HOMETOWN. I LOVE THIS XMAS&NEW YEAR'S EVE!!
God, can you repeat it for me? :))

! ambiguous

2008-12-15T07:48:00.006+07:00

kenapa yah gue selalu merasa terintimidasi terus? ah gila banget dah. gue tuh 19 tahun. yah sekarang sih udah ga seserius dulu, karena gue pun merantau di kota orang jadi gue ngerasa lebih yah gitu deh. apa-apa gue yang handle bukan karena dikte an orang ketiga. lebih bisa move on dan ga ada beban. gue juga heran ya kenapa ga pernah homesick. sama sekali ga pernah. cuma sekalinya gue ke jakarta, pasti ada satu dua moment yang dia nya tuh marah hebat banget dan itu parah banget buat gue. itu kaya bukan dia. kaya monster. dia tuh ngomong kaya udah kehilangan akal sehat dan ga ada filter nya sama sekali. kadang kalo dia ngomel ngomel pas kita lagi di mobil mau ke mall ato kemana gitu, gue sumbat aja kedua kuping gue pake jari telunjuk gue ato pasang headset sambil dengerin lagu dengan volume max. ga kuat aja gue kalo mesti denger kata-kata yang bisanya nambah luka baru lagi dari awal sampe akhir. itu tuh sama aja kaya ngebunuh perasaan gue pelan-pelan. bikin gue makin, sorry deh, benciiiiiiiii abis. dan kalo omongannya udah parah banget, spontan gue ga bisa tahan, gue nangis, cuy. iya, NANGIS. dan nangis "tanpa bersuara" itu bener-bener sakit dan nyesek banget, boy. dan sampe suara nyedot ingus sekecil apapun sampe di telinga nya dia, dia bakal nge hardik gue dan bilang : "ngapain lo pake nangis-nangis!? kayaknya gue yang punya beban lebih berat dari lo ga sampe segitu nya. dasar CENGENG!"
dan semakin di gituin gue semakin buang ingus keras keras.
makan tuh. bodo amat lo mo ngomong apa.

sebetulnya gue ga pengen natalan di jakarta. sakit hati. gue lebih suka disini, bareng temen-temen. dan bisa lebih khusyuk. tapi kalo inget masa-masa natal dirumah jaman dulu-dulu banget, gue amat sangat kangen moment moment itu. gue inget pasti tiap pagi gue masih di tempat tidur. gue bisa denger lagu-lagu natal lagi dipasang diruang tv. terus pas gue keluar, pohon natalnya lampunya dinyalain. bener-bener damai banget perasaannya. terus ritual tiap tanggal 24 sore jam 6, kita yang pada sibuk siap-siap ke gereja dengan baju natal yang baru. dan dulu waktu masih smp, nyokap pasti nge blow in rambut gue dulu terus dandanin gue.
terus begitu kita berangkat gereja, kan langit uda mulai gelap, terus biasanya tiap malem natal suka ujan gerimis-gerimis gitu. terus kita dimobil denger lagu natal sambil nikmatin gerimis. terus jalan-jalanan yang akses ke gereja-gereja pasti rame banget sama mobil. terus tiap natal, pasti nyokap beliin baju buat kita yang cantik-cantik. walau moment itu simpel banget dan baru ritual 'sebelum kebaktian natal' tapi itu manis banget kalo di inget-inget. terus nanti abis pulang dari gereja kan uda malem tuh jam 9 an, terus kita nyari asesoris-asesoris kembang api dengan bermacam-macam jenis ke pinggiran jalan. oh iya, karena tanggal 25 nya itu ulangtahun opa, habis itu kita semua pasti ngumpul di rumah opa sama tante2, om2, saudara2, terus kita bakal stay situ sampe subuh jam3 ngobrol2.. nonton acara TV yang berbau natal-natal. nikmatin kue putih salju, nastar dan antek-anteknya.. gosh i really miss those moment.. and i want it back for this christmas..

actually i love them. i wanna be better with them.
sob mode : on

EC

2008-12-14T20:38:00.006+07:00

tadi abis gereja akhirnya nonton twilight juga di bip hihihihi
aah,
EDWARD CULLEN ANYIIING CAKEP BANGET!!!!!!!!!!
selama nonton dia gue meleleh abis abis an x) =P
mesti beli dvd nya nih biar bisa di tongkrongin tiap malem tuh bule buahahah

pas dia meranin cedric diggory di harry potter; the goblet and the fire
gue nya masi belum ngeh. trus mukanya masi mudaa banget gitu. kaya banci

uhm. ok it's not right face.

PERFECT!! hmmmm *blushing

i expexted more from you but your 'idiot'ness made you blind.

2008-12-14T00:08:00.001+07:00

huaa, beberapa menit lalu adalah detik detik gue genap 2 tahun 12 bulan sama cowok gue. tapi ironis karena gue merayakannya sendiri disini, di kamar, sambil tiduran males kaya kebo, kayak ga ada kerjaan, kayak besok ga ada hari aja, jam segini belum tidur. sedangkan dia uda dari 2jam lalu ngorok tanpa perasaan bersalah.
ah sedihnya gue saat ini karena harus bermil-mil jauhnya dari DIA. jakarta-bandung. glek*
sebetulnya dibalik rasa (yang seharusnya) bersukacita ini, gue tuh sedih.. banget. gimana yah, gue tuh selalu ngerasa kesepian.. walau disini gue punya kesibukan sendiri dan gue punya temen-temen yang support gue.. kenapa yah? gue sedih ga ada yang peduli sm gue. gue pengen banget jadi orang yang ga punya beban mental sama sekali. wih canggih deh kata-kata gue. tapi beneran. stressed out abis. gue sebel banget deh gue harus jadi manusia yang punya progesteron. kenapa? karena elo elo jadi nya muak kan liat postingan gue yang sumpah lenjeeeeeeeh abbbiss! nih anak kok blog nya itu itu mulu ya yang dibahas, nih anak kok cengeng abis ya isi blog nya. yah bodo lah blog blog gue jadi ya mau mau gue mau nulis apaan. namanya juga tsjsobb.blogspot.com (sob : sobber)
uhm.
kalo lo enek, di close aja ya browser nya. kasian tuh mata lo..

what's this?

2008-12-12T21:45:00.002+07:00

is there anything that can make you happy? I don't know what to say to make it better. Seeing you like this, down and hurt so badly when you have been so kept together. What's this? All this time I thought you didn't need me. Now I've gone from you and now you tell me you're in love, but that's not what it was, all those times that passed by with no signs and now you're telling me you miss me, boy why couldn't I see? and my heart don't agree with what you're telling me.

You were nonchalant, strong, and unaffected, and you never wanted me to be there. I never saw your heart, that's how close you kept it. So right now I'm so unsure how to care. What's this? All this time I thought you didn't need me now I've gone from you and now you tell me you're in love, but that's not what it was all those times that passed by with no signs
And now you're telling me you miss me, boy why couldn't I see? and my heart don't agree with what you're telling me

No attention was given no affection from you to heal the hurt. I was hoping i was wishing. Just to listen and to hear those words..

it's ok if you doesn't really want me. im sorry for being so whine. i dont care what people say but when i say IT it's really true

twister

2008-12-08T17:06:00.003+07:00

uhm.
postingan gue yang dibawah bener bener ga reasonable jadi ga usa telalu diresapin. Itulah efek dari sifat yang terlalu posesif. EXTREMELY MELANCHOLIC and SOUNDS WEAK.

Gue lagi on the way bandung, masih dengan mata sembab bengkak kaya lobang celengan. Disebela gue ada 2 bapak bapak gondrong tinggi jangkung menjulang dgn gaya2 kaya seniman. Dibelakangnya ada istri dgn 2 anaknya yang masih lucu2. Trus barusan bapak ini batuk disebela gue, bujut. Bau mulut nya serius kaya susu basi. Tapi gue ga akan crita tentang ini. Back to the main topic.

Really i cant tell you the details guys why mata gue sipit bengkak jelek bau ketek because it's so intern. Uhm dan gue ga ngerasa nyaman untuk mempublikasikan. Yaah, masalah keluarga gitulah biasa. What i expect to know is,
kenapa yah orang dewasa itu suka bikin hal menjadi rumit? Hal sepele dibesar-besarkan, terus nanti topiknya jadi merembet kemana mana kemasalah yang lebih kompleks, dan yang lebih menyedihkan lagi itu smua malah bikin mereka jadi kayak anak kecil.
Simply like an emotional-teenager.
They dont think twice before shout the words out and used to hurt someone's feeling by doing that. And no apologize at least when they cool down. Ternyata orang dewasa ga se mature yang gue pikirin selama ini.
Spanjang perjalanan (menuju travel pool) yang gue lakuin hanya menyedot-membuang ingus, dada terasa sesak padat mau membludak. Karena ngomel mlulu tiada henti. Ngomelnya tuh bukan ngomel 'ngomel', tapi jadi kaya curhat sambil marah-marah.
Gimana ga sebel yah digituin? Kesannya kita kita tuh yang gasalah apa-apa jadi terpojokan dan jadi tersangka.

Karena sepanjang jalan marah2 terus dan kuping uda pada panas, terus kita stop d parkiran citos dan tau ngapain? Cuma diem, duduk, hening, dan suasana nya asli dingin abis. gue uda mikirin keluar saat itu juga, banting pintu dan ga balik lagi sampe kapan pun ke dalam mobil itu, tapi krn gue merasa gue mature gue mikir bakal nambah 'anak-anak kecil' lain nya didalam mobil sedan itu dan, entar kalo gue ngelakuin tindakan se-melawan itu, darimana lagi gue ngedapetin sesuap nasi?

Gue kecewa aja.
Apa apa selalu di bahas pake emosi.
Gue bukannya ngerasa di posisi yang bener kok karena gue akuin kadang gue suka teledor juga. Bego. Useless.
Tapi betapa lebih indahnya kan dunia kalo masalah diselesaikan pake otak, bukan pake hati dan ego masing masing?

piece of sh*t

2008-12-08T00:58:00.001+07:00

Ternyata mencari Mr. Right itu ga gampang. Mr. Jibe belum tentu dia Mr. Right. Gue takut dia bukan mister yang selama ini gue cari. Dia itu selama ini cuma Mr heart-hurting yang bisa nya nyabik nyabik gue dengan segala cara yang diam diam tapi pasti. Cara dia rapih banget dalam menyobek nyobek hidup gue. Ga transparan tapi pelan pelan menyakitkan. Mau nangis-nangis XL alias Xtra Lebay karena sikap dia? Tai. ga akan ngerubah apapun. Udahlah tas, masih banyak koq mister mister yang lain, gue tanya deh apa juga sih yang selama ini lo cari? Lo goblok kalo slama ini lo korbanin perasaan lo. Dia juga ga pernah bener-bener peduli lagi sama perasaan lo. Kapan lo mengalah buat diri lo sendiri? Lo ga kasian sama diri lo?
Yauda sih whatever will be will be lah. Mau diapain?

jakartong sarinong

2008-12-06T20:44:00.003+07:00

Yoyoyo there..
im so glad that im back to jakarta agaain!
Eventho bandung was good but jakarta did the best town than any! =P (promosi)
Apalagi skarang malem minggu lho. Gue kangen aja gitu sama jalanan di jakarta di malem minggu hahaha, gimanapun beda banget ma bandung yang jalanannya sempit minta ampyun.
Gue kangen dah lewatin daerah casablanca, tebet, menteng, senayan, taman lawang.. Hihi. Ga ada kan bandung kaya beginian. Apalagi malem minggu gini alay alay sama mastenk mastenk secara biadab berkeliaran diluar bersama embak embak style pas pasan. Seni banget deh. Inilah garam dibalik gemerlap nya jakarta di malam hari hehehe
(eh tapi di bandung banyak juga yang beginian apalagi di IT Telkom. Serius. Isinya alay semua)

hmm.
gue gy di jl sudirman nih. gy d mobil.
tadi abis dari sarinah ama bokap, nyokap, sm adek gue, kezia. Lumayan juga barang2 disana. Shoes nya lucu lucu. Gue sebel banget tadi gue liat black high heels yang sweat dan pas dipake keren! Apalagi kalo pake skinny jeans. Tapi stock nya tinggal display nya aja. Huh. monyong! Padahal gue uda ngences ama tu barang..

Oya tadi gue melakukan swatu tindakan dodol yg menyusahkan orang pas lg hunting barang. Setting tempat masih d sarinah. Jadi kan tadi gue gy liat asesoris batik yg lucu2, yah yg kaya gantungan kunci bentuk sendal, kalung2 yg model etnik, dll. Nah kalo uda liat yang bgituan tangan gue ntuh ya jadi getol banget getoh. Pengennya meraba raba. Jadi ceritanya asesorisnya nyangsang di tmpt gantungan yg bisa diputer2 gitu lho. Yauda deh dgn nafsu yg besar gue puter aja tu gantungan. Maksud hati ingin melihat lihat. Tiba tiba..
PRAK!
gelas-gelas tempat asesoris yang ada di deket gantungan itu jatuh berhamparan secara naas di lantai. Wadefak!? Ada mbak mbaknya lagi disitu. Pas gue liat mukanye aga ngenekin gitu tapi dgn muka sok innocent gue bilang: duh maaf mbak maaf mbak..
Dia bilang gpp (yakin mbak?) terus dia beresin tu barang dgn tampang ga tulus. Kriing! HP mami yg lagi gue pegang tiba tiba bunyi. Aaa. Dari bang edward. Save by the bell! Yauda de gue sok sibuk gt ngangkat tlvon ngobrol ma dia smbil berlalu pergi kaya ga punya salah. Hihihi..

Duh macet nih jalanan. Gue uda pengen buru2 nyampe rumah. Hmmm. Mana pacar lagi menghilang entah kemana. Tersiksa gue dibalik kaca mobil menyaksikan anak2 muda yang lagi pada bokinan d:
gue mo bobo aja ah.
ciao folkkkss..

huaaaatshoee!

2008-11-28T19:44:00.002+07:00

back again.i wanto telling you what is up to me today guys. although so customary and it has no influence for you to know it but gapapala yaa?

you know what guys how miserable i am now because my influenza tortured me :( it happened to me from last night. so this morning when i woke up my stomach queasy a lot and it made me wanted to throw up. bluwerrrrkk. great. i experience two illness, Influenza and Masuk Angin-disease.

so i usually have a lab work to do once in 2 weeks every friday morning in a group and we had been expected to not absent and i got lab work to attend in C Building (Electro Laboratory) at 7 in this morning. can you imagine when i (thought) truly felt sick but i had to be present at lab? ya maybe you think it's not sucha big problem. but it totally disruptive for me (i mean the diseases)

straightaway i did this beginning task for 30minutes in lab with my group, and while tried to finished it off in a quietness, i sneezed three times in 5seconds continuely and my nose felt so itccccchhhhh. hhuaaaaaatshooeee! my throat also painful and coerced me to cough. extremely annoyed!

but fortunately during the practice it was going good and pleasant. because there's this guy named Aldi Wilman who was our lab-assistant for this time (angkatan 2006), i admitted that he sucha gratifying-amusing tutor ;D the practice also turned to be so fun and didnt too strained because he had this funny-mimic when teached us and we liked him.ando i dunno what the reason why i turned to be so excited to respond all his questions orally. hihihi. i even forgot my stupid flu z_z

oh yaa,me and my bf already finished our problem and we're cool now. im so happy! :) but i still sensed some uneven feeling because he still slightly different.his whole attitude&responsed a bit strange. but never mind. maybe he still needs time.

"she strucked attitude of utter disbelief that she really in a mood now"

:) tx baby, kisskiss.

EVERY FIVE THINGS IN YOUR LIFE!

2008-11-27T16:16:00.001+07:00

The rules to fill this are:
You own a blog where you're gonna post this to,
You currently feel bored,
You won't skip any question,

You're alive (doh!), and
You're gonna send this to 5 friends to fill these up.
-----------------------------------------------
Firstly, describe the current you in 5 words:
lazy
easygoing
simple
moody
sobber

5 things you love about life:
JC

my roller-coastery life
my bigfamily
my bf
my friends

5 famous people you'd love to meet:
Robert pattinson
Penn Badgley
Leighton Meester
Wentworth Miller
Bill Gates

5 movies you love:
the notebook
how to lose a guy in ten days
saw1-4
airbud(S)
harry potter series

5 professions you'd love to have:
director;
musicians;
photographer;
editor-in-chief;
good wife

5 best authors:
jk rowling
enied blyton
meg cabot
dan brown

5 inspirations:
MY MOM!
succesful people
holly bible
magazines

5 favorite stuff:
mobile
dvds
cds
dolls given by yosua

5 things you hate:
snake and stuff gee!
broken-heart
people seeing me like i came from outer space (duh?)
liar
di underestimate

5 favorite places:
bedroom
malls
myhome in jakartaaaa
class
"pojok kreasi" in library

5 girls/guys you are currently liking:
funny guy
romantic guy
caring guy
smart guy
responsible guy

5 things you would take to a deserted island:
mineral-water
my mobile
food supply
tent and stuff
and my hottie guy! ;p

5 places you wanna visit:
bali
sushi tei (nyam)
my home in jakarta >,<>

5 things you really want:
he
forgive
me
and
thingsbacktonormalagain ;(

5 songs make you cry most:
walau kayanya basi tapi one last cry nya BM emang dahsyat banget bikin kamar gue menggenang
end of the road
lagu yang suara penyanyinya kayak piring pecah

5 impossible dreams:
sleep with crocodile
do spa with a lion
eat insects like timon and pumba
live till 100years
gatau lagi ah

5 dreams in the future:
keep improving myself
get a job&earn money
have vacation to foreign wit my family by my own money haa!
uhm
marriage with him and make a little-wonderful-family :)

GUB!

2008-11-25T22:45:00.001+07:00

Im tired of my so-called unwise bf. Grow Up, Boy!

self-terms

2008-11-25T22:43:00.002+07:00

ok tassja, since you being such a lame because of your mid-test, why dont we make a simple deal here that you, anastassja tania peggy, have to submissive it for good. Really it's not a crucial thing.

listen miss time-waster, since your self-management is so so and so far from good so we've to fix you a bit. tassja, please wake-up earlier in the morning, get yourself up from the bed then clean up your room.
eat your meal on time, minimal twice a day. not ONCE a day, and eat some hygienics, not only some tasty-deliciousy foods. stop absent for the class, and stop waste your money for some unimportant things.
give priority for your college 1st then you can do whatever hell you want. ask your friends when you got difficulty in courses and sucha thing. Do your task, assignments, eventho you're not feel like to. Use your time lah dgn baik. Ok.
Uhm and this little one, maybe you have to learn to get him off your mind when he start bothering you (just for a while, doesnt mean you've to forget him) ya you knowla the whole thing about him will make you stuck all along and you wont go anywhere.
Keep Struggle, dear!

beteksyndrome

2008-11-24T23:48:00.001+07:00

hal hal yang bikin gue ngerasa paling tai hari ini:
1. Ga lolos audisi; dari 27band cuma 5band yang kterima. And we'll make it kalo skor nya ga d kurangin hanya karena ga telat ngumpulin form+foto dan kalo ikut technical meeting. ga niat ngapa ngapain jadinya. gila ya tugas gue keteteran hanya gara gara persiapan itu!

2. Ngurusin tugas pendahuluan Algo yang ngerepotin itu

3. kuis kalkulus; gagal total, salah semua. Loser abis.

4. Gara gara pas malem nya telat 5menit balik ke astri, apes nya gue di hukum ngepel lantai 1 sm tetehnya jam 10malem.

5. Dia ga ada sms.

6. Besok remid hair dan gue mendodong belum belajar algo

7. Blm belajar buat praktikum besok juga

8. Nge down gara2 nilai nilai gue tambah parah

9. sekarang LAPER, etc

10. Lagi pengen sms an ma dia tapi dia entah kmana

11. No one give me support in this yaiks condition (either HIM)

12. And feel like a loner ditengah tawa temen temen.

13. Dan pada akhirnya gue jadi melankolis gni.

ignor.amus

2008-11-24T23:31:00.001+07:00

where have you been for all these two days, yos? You even didn't text me at least for once today. The last we talked you seem resentful. Is there my demeanor botherin you? I was happen to ask you but i afraid we'll have this fight and things will go bad and i dont want we fool ourselves (buat kesekian kalinya). You made me like a burnt bitch outhere, yos please stop ignoring me like this.. :-/
i feel you baby but why? it's not suppose to hurt this way..